foundations + fractures.

Because sometimes it's the smallest moments that give me the biggest reminders of eternity.

Because sometimes my children are the clearest mirror of my own soul.

That's why, when my daughter accidentally breaks our marble treasure box - and anxiously blurts: "It's ok mama, I can fix it!"...this is why I take a picture.

To remind me that we all have broken something so precious, and we all frantically seek to fix it with things that cannot hold.

The very foundation of our souls.  The purpose to our living.  To love God and enjoy Him forever.

We chose otherwise.  We chose our own way.

"There is none righteous, no not one... all have turned away" (Romans 3:10-12)

Now standing on a foundation that is cracked at a cosmic level.. we stand separated from the very Giver of life.  We feel the isolation.  We see the brokenness.

So, we blurt: "It's ok papa, I can fix it!".

But we lack the proper materials, we only have glue and scotch tape.

When the pressures of life hit, our foundations crumble again.

Whether we thought we could make our security stand on:
wealth

health

friends

fame

 good works

They all eventually crumble.

Only one foundation holds.

" For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ."

1 Corinthians 3:11

So when I see my daughter frantic to fix a marble box, I take a picture, and I write this all to remind myself... there is nothing that fixes this heart that I can work with my own hands.  Only as I hold to the nail-pierced hands of my Saviour am I held secure.

Mel

growing new eyes.

So, when I was young, I knew everything.

Now that I'm getting older... I see how much there is to learn.

When I was a teenager, I painted a mural with the quote:
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes" (Marcel Proust)  I thought I was painting my sage-like perspective on that canvas.

Now that I'm older, I see those new eyes fluttering open.

There's an incredible re-birth that a parent is granted.

You get to see the world afresh through their dewy new eyes, and marvel at the things your eyes forgot were remarkable.  And the questions!  'Why is that the way it is?' 'Where does it come from?' 'How does it do that?'

And you start to see how little you really know,

and how glad you are to embark on this 'real voyage of discovery' right alongside them!

 

Today we watched the life cycles of a butterfly.

She coloured in a few of her favourite ones from our recent trip to a butterfly conservatory.

We hiked down to the river, collecting rocks, flowers and clam shells.

(Were they clams, mussels, or oysters? Thanks internet - clams!) 

God's wild world of wonder is unfolding new wings before our hungry eyes.

The marvel and the mystery.

The gratitude and the glee.

The wonder and wisdom.

 This mama's heart is in it's own metamorphosis.

Mel ;o)

small steps, big leaps.

Do you ever wonder if the next step towards change is going to transform you, or cause you to stumble?  It's hard to trust that the 'leap of faith' off the proverbial cliff is going to let you fly, instead of crashing into a mangled mess on the rocks below.

But currently, I feel the wind beneath these fragile trembling winds.. and I am excited to share with you friends the changes on our horizon!

After keeping our oldest daughter (Azriel,5yrs) home for junior kindergarten year, and then sending her off to try out a local Catholic school for her senior year... we've recently decided to homeschool her for (at least) this next school year.  Maybe that doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but if I'm being honest there was lots of internal 'freaking out' and paper bags involved.  Because, I am not the type who embraced this idea right off the hop.

There were the silly reasons - like, "I'm just not creative enough to teach her".

The selfish reasons - "Will I ever get a moment to myself?!"

The socialisation reasons - "Will she be isolated from her peers?"

I was the champion of listing pros + cons for both sides of the debate... but after sitting on the fence for the last couple of years, it was starting to chafe.

So we are stepping out, and I am seeing the joy - instead of sheer panic - about this choice.

There's a lot more I could say, but for now just a few points:

We chose this path for our daughter (for now) because we believe it fosters her well-being. She has blossomed over the summer in ways we were delighted to witness, and have noted that it is in direct correlation to the quality time spent with her family/friends.

This does not mean we make homeschooling our 'gospel' and assume it's the best choice for everyone.  I respect the convictions and choices each family makes for what is best for their children.  Like many of the debates in our culture - this one seems rather polarising as well.  I'm not out to convert or convince you to homeschool (my many homeschooling friends will be the first to tell you that I often questioned their reasons, in fact!)  It is probably ironic to them that I am now on this side.

But maybe we don't need to make it about 'sides' with this issue.  Let's just hold to the conviction to be on the side of our children's growth and health... and encourage other parents to do the same.

For now, I'm just feeling so blessed to know that this sweet gal will be by our side a whole lot more this school year!

Mel ;o)

give a girl a paintbrush...

Yet another moment in parenting where I am learning to 'let it go' and foster our kid's creative expression.  Because yes, yes our five year old did just paint her wall.

Mama drew the outlines... and then she slap-happily brushed the paint on (while I 'touched up' the final bits... because I just can't fully 'let it go').

This project was the result of her declaring that her side of the room should be her favourite colours - pink/purple.  Her brother could keep all this delightful 'boyish' green on his side.

Sensing and impasse I used the age-old trick of distraction, and offered her the option of just painting some flowers, or swirls... or birds.

Birds, of course!

Our house is filled with them, and trees (and bunting) all throughout our nest.

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It's funny, this was another moment when I looked back with gratitude for how my folks raised me.  Some parents would have likely balked at letting their kids assert their creative fingerprint on their home decor.. my parents embraced it.  I think that was very empowering for my individual expression and confidence as I grew up.  They didn't bat an eyelash (at least outwardly) when I wanted to do all sorts of craziness to my room.  Or, when I wanted to shave half my head.  Or, when I wanted to wear a tux to my grade 8 grad... etc.

As I grow in this parenting thing, I'm learning (even from my own parents) to not sweat the small things - and to recognize what the small things are! 

It's a beautiful thing to see their creativity take flight.

Mel ;o)

 

my art. her art:

 
My recent paintings.

8"x8" mini landscapes.

Her recent paintings.

A new 'gallery wall' to brighten up our living room/kids creative corner.

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Art is like exhaling.

We love creating in our nest here!

Mel ;o)

8 mos.

Already eight?!

Ain't she great.

Mel ;o)

All things pink and purdy:

 The nest is filled with pink, tacky, girly-girl overboard vibes today.

A certain lil' princess is turning 5... five!!

The tom-boy in me is fighting a gag reflux at all this decor, but it makes her little heart happy, so that's good enough medicine for this mama.

 Annnnd, check out my first attempt at making a fun cake... ok, stop laughing!

We usually just opt for cupcakes each year, but this year it's cake.  I stared at a rectangle pan and wondered what to do (much like starting at a scrap of fabric envisioning a pattern to sew) when I realised I could just cut the bottom corners off and put them up top as kitty ears!

She also loves kittys.

Pink, kittys, princesses.

Need I say more?

 Another sweet moment: this morning she said "Baby Talia is my BEST gift ever!!  You know why?  Because she's SOOO cute!"  end quote.

Happy Birthday to our dear Azriel!

She's full of creativity, energy, spunk, imagination, sensitivity, faces, emotions, and sweetness!

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Stay tuned for the surprise post in a day or two.

Sorry for the delay, we've been in a never-ending, gauntlet of sleepless nights, fevers and all around exhaustion here lately.... wheeeeee!

Mel ;o)

first day of school: ready... or, not.

 Our faces couldn't be more different looking right now.

Hers is beaming with the delight and eagerness of the 'first day of school'!

Mine is red-eyed and sniffling.

I didn't plan on being a hot mess.

I also wasn't planning on rushing her to school today.

We thought she would transition in later this week (when we got all her registration sorted).

I sipped my coffee this morning, watching all the buses and children heading to school, and was glad to still have our girl close by.

9:45, the phone rings, the school says she's *supposed* to be there today after all!

(Add this blunder to the growing list of disorganisation we've had so far).

So, after a five minute blathering blur of chaos and crying (me) and squealing with delight (her) she was suddenly being whisked off today.

As you can see in the official 'first-day-of-school' photo.. she couldn't be more thrilled to go.

Little brother Hudson sweetly snuggled with me on the couch as the house grew very quiet.

A new chapter for our family has begun.

Ready, or not.

For those of you who remember my rantings last year about deciding to school or homeschool, you'll know this is a big deal for us.

There were lots of questions in our mind (and still are) about which option is best for our girl.

For now, this is a trial year to see how we all roll with it.

We've chosen a nearby Catholic school, happy to connect with friends and neighbours who attend there.  Comforted by the fact that the school recognises God in their teaching, but convicted that we are still the primary teachers at home.

I sent her with a 'secret mission' today.  I told her to have 'special eyes' that look for other kids who are alone, scared or sad ...and offer to be their friend.

I said, "remember what your name means: Azriel - God is my help.  Ruth - Friend.

By God's help, be a good friend to those who need it today".

She saw the tears trying to hold back, she gave me her most mature four-going-on-fourteen look and said: "don't worry Mama, I'll be home soon".

The rain is pouring down now,  God knows it probably matches the tears shed by many parents today.

Life is this continual ebb and flow.

Holding and letting go.

Mel ;o)

 

 

 

A.musing.mama! 4.1.

...don't even get me started.

But surely, surely I am not the only parent who deals with this one?

The notion of 'time economics' doesn't seem to translate well with our kids... in that, if I have to put in a certain amount of time preparing an activity for the kids to do (pool, crafts, games... etc) I have this crazy notion that they should actually play with it for more than a nano-second.

Like I said, don't get me started!

Happy weekend'ing friends,

a.musing.mama,

Mel ;o)

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You can catch up on all the previous comics HERE!

 

A.musing.mama! 4.0

Surely our daughter isn't the only contortionist couch-potato out there?

The daily face-plants, head-bangs and bruised elbows are usually the result of her falling off some chair or couch she's been teetering curiously from.

I think she lacks the physical ability to actually 'sit still' some days... (so I'm not sure how that's going to work if she gets into school this fall).  Maybe my next sewing project should be velcro-bottomed jeans for her.

A.musing.mama,

Mel ;o)

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 You can find all the (forty+) previous comics HERE!

the making of Marigold:

It was a perfectly drizzly gray morning to whip up a sewing project today.

While the boys were out, and the babe slept... Azriel and I dove into my sewing corner and made this fun dolly.

The perks of being a 'craft hoarder' is that all you need is at your fingertips!

After a very fast sketch of what she wanted her doll to look like, I let her pick through my fabrics to decide which would *match* her drawing.

Obviously I did not have purple yarn on hand.. so she's an orange head. 

We've decided to call her Marigold.

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Sewing with kids is really frantic fun.  You can talk to them about the importance of "patience" and "hard work" to get a good result.  The joys of creating instead of buying toys.

You just need to let go of the quality control in favour of quality time with your kiddo.

I think she turned out pretty sweet for a couple hours of cutting/stuffing/sewing/painting.  It was getting tough to do the final stitches when Azriel just kept hugging me and squealing "Oh mama, she's just SOOOOOO beautiful!!!"

win. win. 

(And yes, I totally was thinking of this website while we brought her drawing to life!)

Have a creative day friends,

Mel ;o)

 

summer showers bring crafty flowers:

 Today was quite the day.

A day of rainstorms and open windows.

Our house felt humid like a rainforest... with accompanying howler monkeys inside too.

The best way to beat the heat and gray skies?

Crafts, glitter, paint!

Today we used pipe cleaners, beads, tissue paper, coloured papers and a styrofoam bowl for the base of our 'flowers'.

"This is not a hat, mama."

We also had some of our favourite *unexpected* guests today - my bestie and her cute kids for playtime and lunch, while my folks popped in later and stayed for dinner!

 As mentioned last week, it's so freeing to just welcome people in and not worry anymore!

It also helps entertain the kids who were inside almost all day.

What do you do with a rainy day?

Colourfully yours,

Mel ;o)

 

A.musing.mama! 3.4

Ok, so this isn't so much a *funny* comic from our life.. as much as it's a sweet moment that I wanted to remember.

Because some days that girl can push our limits.

Some days she can feel like a bur clinging to my side the entire day... and even a trip to the bathroom is met with "whatcha doing mama?!"

Because some days she like to throw down - and in her dramatic tone cry that 'this is the worst day ever!!' and 'no one lets me do anything!!'.

So when she grabs a dandelion, puffs her lips into a kiss and blows with all her might, and then whispers: "I wish, I wish... with all my might, that we'd be a family forever" my heart glows.

Then I remember, she's our special treasure.

She delights in being a part of our family.

And, the reason she may cling like a bur is because she loves us all sooooo much!

Have a sweet weekend friends,

A.musing.mama,

Mel ;o)

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Catch up on previous comics HERE!

 

 

 

 

two sweet...

 
She's celebrating her 'two month birthday' by conducting symphonies in her sleep.

Those delicate fingers dance through the air while her eyelids flutter to rest.

Then all is still.

All is quiet, but for the soft rapid snoring of her tiny frame.

And yes, I'm still absolutely ridiculously smitten with this newest addition to our nest.

In fact, all of us here are.

Big sister Azriel still acts like it's Christmas every morning - rushing up to her baby sister like she's the biggest present with a bow on top.  During the day she always wants to help me put Talia down for a nap saying "I'll pray and sing for her, Mama" and then she spontaneously blurts out the sweetest prayer thanking God for such a 'sweet baby sister...' and hums her rock-a-bye-baby.

Big brother Hudson is pretty fond of her now too, occasionally bringing over a soother to shove in her face or offering to "hold 'er?" any time I'm carrying her around.

And Ben - sweet Dad - has the brightest smile for his little girl.

Happy two months little lamb.

Mel ;o)

monster-sized love:

 I've been dusting off the sewing machine lately... (feeling back to my ol' creative self again after 10 months of baby-brewing).  During this 'babymoon' I still wanted the other kids to have some special quality time with mama... so, daughter Azriel and I attempted her first real sewing project:

A monster doll!

She chose the project (because we don't do patterns here), the fabrics, the buttons, the shapes/sizes of each part.

She helped me guide the fabric through the machine, stuffed the parts with fluff, and even did all the hand stitching.

It was pretty special sewing together, seeing her patience and eagerness to stick with this project over a few days.

Then watching with delight as she sweetly declared that she had made it for her new sister, because she 'loves her!'.

The same reason I've created so many things for our kids over the years...

...a monster sized love.

Talia is a mix of shock and awe...

crafting with joy,

Mel ;o)