perspective.gratitude... and a smudgy handprint.

 Perspective is such a powerful thing.

Whether we see our glass half full, or half empty, can really effect how we taste it as sweet, or bitter. Each day we are gifted with the 'present' of being present can either feel like a joy to unwrap... or the misery of another pair of itchy socks from ol' Aunt Gertrude.

To be honest, my heart tends to flip flop to both extremes... in any given five minutes.

But I'm learning, slowly, to flex the heart muscle of gratitude... so it can bear the weight and bounce back quicker from daily loads thrown at it, like that sack of moldering laundry in the corner.  

Gratitude is a real perspective changer.

Gratitude lets us look through things... instead of at them.

You know, instead of begrudging the dirty dishes.. look through them to see the blessing of food shared with family/friends.  Look through the chaos of toys and clutter on your floor, to the young souls in your care that love knowing you are there with them.

I was thinking this the other day as I saw this smudge of a hand print on our (finally) cleaned picture window.  I stared at that mess, hard. It represented a whole lot of futility to me in that moment. This never-ending cycle of clean the things, they mess the things, clean the things again can wear down even the most devoted of Cinderellas. But, this was the epiphany slowly unfurling in my heart - 'look through'.

 This isn't some idealised notion that you need to be enraptured with every disaster you encounter each day.  I still have nerve endings that twitch as they feel messes happening at the other end of the house. It's just a reminder to my heart, and maybe yours, to seize those moments to 'look through' the glass instead of just at the smeared hand print. 

I know some of us mamas can feel pretty worn out some days.

Trying to feel gratitude is maybe just vinegar in the wound... but if you could imagine some sweet elderly Grandma putting her hand over yours and saying: "I wish I could have one more day of your chaos and mess, just to hold my dear children on my lap again" would that help our perspectives?  Or, a friend drops by for tea and shares with tear stained eyes... that they have miscarried, again.  She looks at you and pleads: "treasure these blessings you've been given, for those of us who don't have them".

I don't want to waste a day.

Regretting, resenting, rejecting the presents given to me.

 I want the perspective of gratitude.

Gratitude to the Giver who entrusted me with this one precious life and three precious souls in our care.

Mel ;o)

 

confessions of an (unlikely) homeschooling mama:

"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled" - Plutarch.

There is a new glow crackling and warming up this heart of mine.
A fire that once seemed frightening and engulfing, is now one I eagerly dance around and roast marshmallows by.

It's been a wild ride, seeing how my heart was trapped on the fence for so long about whether I could hack being a homeschooling mama.. and now feeling what I do (joy) about it all.

Because, I used to have so many concerns, fears and frustrations about this issue.

I had all the 'arguments' one would use against such a decision down pat.

I also had all the common excuses, too.

The big (nasty) one being: 'how could I handle being around my kid all the day long?!'

But now, the joy of watching these children learn, explore, play, laugh and engage in this amazing world around them - outweighs the crazy with such deep awe.
I'm really savouring this time I have with them.
We've been learning so much already, and I've seen a huge shift in my outlook.
The biggest change for me being: the pursuit of intentional/teachable moments.

I think I always struggled with viewing myself as 'teaching material' because I wasn't intentional about weaving discovery, wonder and learning into our average days.
Learning to learn like a child again.  What a thrill! 

Homeschooling isn't easy, but it's good.  Like most things in life.

Before we decided to go ahead with this, I always feared what a furnace it would be for my heart.  I feared what frustration or anger would boil up in me when faced with the hurdles along the way.  But I'm learning to trust God's providential hand - and timing - in every.little.crazy thing that comes my way.  So if the lesson doesn't go as planned, or the kids are all taking turns to wail and whine on my lap, and the phone is ringing, and the dish water has turned cold... there is a peace in the chaos. It turns out this furnace is a refining one.

And, like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego (Daniel 3)... I am not standing in the fires alone.

Once again, I am seeing... this home, this crumb cluttered floor... is holy ground.

Mel ;o)

 

the tragic, and the triumphant song.

My heart is a jukebox of sin.

Most days I stay busy enough, distracted enough, to not hear the music playing.

But, when I slow down… I find the volume goes up.

You know when – and where – I hear it the loudest?

As I’m standing at the sink full of dirty dishes.
But this is not a dance floor I find myself on, it’s a battleground.

Now, maybe for you it’s during the long commute home, or while you  stand in the shower, or when you can’t drift off to sleep.  But for me, when I am stuck at that sink, washing dish after dish… the music begins.

Now, I suffer from two tracts, set to repeat.

The first is prides’ song.  Cue: “You’re simply the best.. dun, dun, dun.. better than allll the rest”.  This is where my mind wanders to all the wonderful things I have said or done for others that day.  Really, I’d pat myself on the back if it wasn’t so sudsy from the dishes.  It’s here that I also start to envision myself as a really mama ‘martyr’ for how selflessly I give.give.give all the day long.  And as I lift another dish from the tepid waters, and feel the weariness of my limbs... I start to drone: “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen…”

Suddenly this  jukebox heart shifts.  I skip a beat.  Just enough of an interruption to gain clarity and perspective on how inward and prideful my thoughts are vortexing.


Cue the second main tract:  “Shut up, just shut up, shut up.  Shut up, just shut up, shut up”!
(No, really.  If you were standing in the kitchen you can hear me say it out loud even).

Because so often lately, and more quickly, lately… I am so over hearing about ME.  So done, with stroking this viper of pride in my heart and thinking it’s a pet.  ‘Be killing sin, or it will be killing you’ it’s said.  So I get out a mallet, and smash the jukebox with an angry “Awwww shaddup!”.

Go figure, it doesn’t help for long.
Turns out that just trying to will myself to not think about something doesn’t work.

I can’t just not think about something I’m  trying to not think about… because it leaves a vacuum.

I need a new song.

What is otherwise called – the ‘expulsive power of a new affection’.

For me, this is the moment I start to sing hymns.  Songs of praise and worship to the One who saved me from myself, from my sins.  The more I love Jesus, the better this jukebox plays a song worth singing.

Some days (some moments) the old tunes  still taunt.

But, as Odysseus tied himself to the mast, to avoid turning his ship to the enticing destruction of the siren’s songs…  I tie myself to the cross.  I cling to the cross of Christ.  Despite the siren song of pride in my own chest, that would rather exult myself than another, I cling to the cross… and sing:

"O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above"

-Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing-

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Mel ;o)

an open letter to weary parents:

weary parents,

there are times when you feel done from the start.

while the world slept, you held a screaming terror against your chest.
the morning greeted you with a sneer, and a child peeing across the floor.
exhaustion pulls at your tired body, while exasperation strains your mind.
all you see are needy hands clawing away at your emptiness.
and you find yourself pointing a shot gun of anger at anyone within range.
 
look down.

who are you so furious with?
what has stretched your thin skin of patience over a ballooning frustration?
was it those tiny fingers that pushed all your buttons,
or yourself for having those buttons within their reach?
 
look down.
 
it feels like all you bring to the table is a cold bowl of contempt.
hardly enough to nourish those young hearts, and you're already gagging on it.
what can you stir into this pot to feed your family with?
vile ingredients of despair, guilt and gloom choke out the very taste of hope.

-------
dear soul,
 
look up.

there is ONE who drank the bitter cup,
ONE who swallowed the sin from our deepest reserves,
In the place of our poison, He offers living waters.
sparkling with hope, faith and love.

look up.

Jesus declares: 'COME!  All you who are thirsty, come and drink!  I AM the living water.
though your heart feels dark as a tomb, I will give you new life.
though you soul feels parched, My grace is a tidal wave crashing on your shore.
when you feel you don't have enough to give, see I AM abundantly MORE than you can hope or imagine'.

then... look down.

with eyes and heart brimming over with this living water.
soak your family with the lavish joy and affection from above,
you are created to be a channel, not a dam.
get out of the way... and let that river flow.

Mel :)

dis.courage:

 There are days when the sun is shining, and I have a good day with the kids.

We've shared laughter, meals and tickles.

Then, just when you've let down you 'guard' - and you start to pride yourself on being a pretty decent mama - things start to unravel.

Someone is whining about the texture of their snack.

The baby is shrieking because she can't figure out how to lay down to nap.

The constellation of crumbs under the table is growing.

Every where I look I just see chaos and need.

I feel my eye starting to twitch.

Then, it just takes one little thing for me to crash like a house of cards.

Maybe like the futility of picking up that certain toy for the millionth time today.

I start to fume inside.

The child pees next to the potty instead of in it.

I choke-hold the air in front of me.

The phone rings right when I'm changing a diaper.

I feel utterly exasperated.

At this point I'm ripe to explode.

On the inside.

(I told my husband we'd be rich if we could patent a 'scream room' for mamas who are having a meltdown.  You know, just a sound proof - padded - space that we could have our own temper tantrum in.

Because I refuse to yell at my family, but if they were inside my head...)

Now, I've written before how isolating that moment feels, when you've seen such a beast of anger lurking within your own heart (confession post found here)... but I want to further share.

I think many of us step under a burden of discouragement at this stage.

Because after some 'blow out' of my anger, I fall into a sullen silent stage.  Moping around the house, smothering my heart with a heaping yoke of guilt and contempt.

I feel like I've seen many people fall into this rut... and lose all hope of climbing out.

Maybe because this dark under belly of parenting caught us by surprise.

We were told that there would be diapers and delights with having children.

We likely weren't told there would be deep discouragement and despair.

Because, if you ever want to feel like you're a pretty decent person, don't have kids.

(Actually, just keep yourself isolated from any and all things that put enough pressure on your heart to push out all the nasty bits lurking beneath the surface).

But, if you want to grow and learn what grace looks like.. have kids.

The path that shows our inner ugly bits in the brightest light, is also the path that leads us to humility.

To be honest, I was having one of these melt-down moments this week.

In the wake of this discouragement I happened to pull a book of our shelf and find this quote:

"It is of great importance to guard against discouragement on account of our faults.  Discouragement is not a fruit of humility, but of pride, and nothing can be worse.  It springs from a secret love of our own excellence.  We are hurt at feeling what we are.  If we become discouraged we are the more enfeebled, and from our reflections on our own imperfections, a chagrin arises that is often worse than the imperfection itself.  Poor nature longs from self-love to behold itself perfect; it is vexed that it is not so, it is impatient, haughty, and out of temper with itself and with everybody else.  Sad state; as though the work of God could be accomplished by our ill-humor.  As though the peace of God could be attained by our interior restlessness"

(quoting Fenelon from Hannah Whitall Smith's "The God of All Comfort")

---

I'm learning to find every trial and tempest that pushes me to despair in myself.. as a gift to look past myself.

Introspection in a bottomless vortex.

Guilt is a terrible motivator.

For me, looking to grace, looking outside myself to the Giver of grace, lifts my heart from this terrible rut.  When I see the God who reaches down to me in my brokenness (instead of waiting for me to be 'good enough' or 'perfect enough' to reach up to the heavens), I see hope.

When I am discouraged, I need to have the courage to behold Christ.

Every time I fail, to fall upon His grace afresh.

"..Where sin abounds, grace abounded all the more" Romans 5:20.

So, let's not resent those children for pointing out our darkest parts.

Let's not resent our imperfection and stroke the ego till it's purrs again.

Let us throw aside the burden of pride, and take on the light yoke of humility.

The harder path is the better path in the end.

Mel ;o)

 

 

11 things...

11 things:

1. Those bright searching blue eyes.

2. The smile as wide as a banana.

3. The way she sucks her thumb and rubs her nose with her forefinger.

4. Her crazy squeals of delight in the jumper.

5. The seizure shakes at taking a toy away.

6. The backwards crawl across the floor.

7. Her happy clappy hands.

8. The joy of sibling love.

9. The smell of her neck.

10.  The strawberry blonde shimmer of her hair.

11. Her sweetness that fills our nest.

Yes, our lil' Talia is almost 11 months now!

She's still as gentle as a lamb all day, and still as loud as a lion all night.

Mel ;o)

confessions (of the heart).

 I'm going to be honest with you, friends.

There have been moments, and there have been days, where I feel overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed by the to-do lists.

Overwhelmed by trying to be a 'good enough' parent.

Or, a 'good enough' wife.

Or, a 'good enough' friend.

Trying to cover all the bases... and it turn, feeling spread too thin.

"There's just too many 'good' things!  I'm no good at keeping up with them all!" I'd sigh.

At that point, the mountain of dirty dishes, or laundry.. or sin in my heart... would be enough to throw me into an internal fit of 'shutting down'.

"I'll just seethe inwardly until I survive to the end of this day.. sleep it 'off' and TRY, try again tomorrow" I'd think.

Repeat cycle.

Repeatedly overwhelmed.

Call it a 'Saviour complex' if you want - this gauntlet of trying to be 'all things' for all the needs around you.  But I call it a misplaced FOCUS.

Because you know what I keep discovering?

When I keep the ONE THING my main thing... all the other things fall in their proper place.

I was meditating on Psalm 27.  That beautiful verse came off the page at me:

 "One thing have I asked of the Lord,

that will I seek after:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord

and to inquire in his temple.

For he will hide me in his shelter

in the day of trouble;

he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;

he will lift me high upon a rock."

This was the answer to all my weariness.  This is the joy in all the whirlwind of life.  When I get my sights fixed on Jesus I get overwhelmed again.

Overwhelmed by His grace and love towards me.

Overwhelmed with care and compassion towards those around me.

Once my heart stays focused on this ONE THING, I am empowered to attend all the other things.  For when my 'vertical' gaze is set right, my 'horizontal' gaze sees all the needs and lives of others through this cross-centred lens.

When I look to the 'things I do' to define me, I resent them and grow weary.

When I look to 'who I am in Christ' to define me, I rejoice and serve eagerly.

I think it's right back to that recent post I wrote about being like Martha or Mary.

If my heart is consumed with anxiety, I know I'm running off a horizontal perspective.

If my heart is overwhelmed with a peace beyond my power, I know the vertical perspective of gazing on the goodness of the gospel has lavished my heart.

This is my testimony.

When the days and moments feel overwhelming, when it feels like I'm drowning.

I look to Christ, and know my feet stand high upon that rock.

I hope and pray this sure footing is in your lives as well friends.

Warmly,

Mel ;o)

A.musing.mama! 5.0

Please tell me I'm not the only one...?

I think if it weren't for my dear husband who shoves breakfast in front of my bleary eyes each morning.. I would overlook feeding myself till fainting (or rage) struck me! ;o)

Sometimes I remember to graze off the kid's leftovers, you know.. still being the mama goat around here.

A.musing.mama,

Mel ;o)

You can find all the previous COMICS (that yes, I still sketch right from a pen!) here!

 

whispers amidst the wailings.

You'll find my nose in a book much more often than a blog lately, friends.

Thus, this corner of the interwebs is growing some cobwebs... but thanks for being here.

Can I share with you where my heart's growing though?

I was reading this book the other day (can't recommend it enough) and this quote jumped out:

"My spiritual life languished when my first child was born.  This wasn't her fault in the least.  I was under the false assumption that the Holy Spirit comforted, guided, and assured me only when my schedule was cleared out or when I had my journal sitting on my lap.  I thought that I couldn't hear God if there was noise in my life"

My head starts nodding like those dashboard hula dolls.

My heart starts shouting 'that's US, that's us!'.

How often I have fallen for the trap of thinking that God is not in the whirlwind of babies wailing.

That His fingerprints are not seen in the Nutella smudges across a clean table cloth.

How often would I mutter under my breath "I'll spend better time with the Lord when this child is not needing me every.moment.of.the.day".  I would think back to my 'quiet times' as a young adult, sitting cross legged on my bed in a sunbeam, scribbling my thoughts into endless journals and feeling I was so close to God.

Then the fog of motherhood clouded out those 'quiet moments' it seemed.

At least... for a while it did.

But, His grace pursued me.

The cross started to shine through the chaos.

It's due in part to many helpful books along the way, in part to many prayers on our behalf, in part to a revival in my husband's heart, in part to many steps along the way... that all point to the FULL reason:  God's grace to whisper through the weariness of my heart.

A heart that was weary of trying to be 'good enough'.

Forgetting that Christ came for sinners.. not the 'keeping-their-nose-clean' ones.

A heart that was sleep walking through the 'survive another day' approach to living, instead of having 'eternity stamped on my eyeballs'.

Do you know how I've started hearing God better again?

By staying in His Word.

Duh. right?

I used to just flip it open for a quick 'guilt removal', as if inserting a few rushed over verses into my day would give me a fresh 'face lift' and let me shine another day.  I called it cosmetic Christianity: just enough to smear over the cracks in my facade.. but not enough to soak deep in to my soul.  I don't want to skim over a passage anymore, I want to stay there.  To meditate on what is truly being said.  To let Christ shine from the pages.

It's like an old radio.

Remember how you turn the dial through endless noisy static and finally break upon the music loud and clear?  I think we so often wonder why we can't hear God in our daily lives.. when it's because we are stuck in the static zones.  We are tuning in to the T.V, we are satiated in social media, we are feeding our souls on the fluff.  Half the time we are stuck in these zones because they seem easiest.  It seems to difficult a chore to pick up the Bible, after a day of endless giving.  You actually want to 'tune out'.  But then... afterwards you feel even more despondent.

Tune the needle of your heart to God's Word... read the Bible slow and steady, and pray that He will speak through it to you.  He doesn't ignore that prayer.

I've discovered that if you keep stacking the kindling around your heart (solid sermons, wonder-full worship, beauty books, persistent prayers) God will light the altar of your heart ablaze.

Maybe this all just sound too 'religious' but I can tell you it's real.

His Word is a treasure far vaster than all the gold of Middle Earth.

(A helpful tool to mining it can be found here.)

Thanks for hearing my heart,

Mel ;o)

 

 

 

 

 

 

One thing:

Hello friends,

It's been a while since I've written any ponderings and pontifications.  My brain has been fairly scrambled (more so than usual) from our sleepless.fitful baby girl in the nest.

But, one thing my thoughts keep coming back to is this simple - but profound - story in the Bible.

 --------------------------

It's found in the Gospel narrative of Luke 10:38-42, where Jesus enters a village and is welcomed in to the home of Martha and her sister Mary.  Martha, understanding the importance of hospitality in that culture, was 'distracted with much serving'.  Mary simply sat at Jesus' feet and listened to his teaching.  I can imagine the vein bursting from Martha's forehead when she protests: "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?  Tell her then to help me" (!!).

Does Jesus agree?

Does He hurry Mary off to help with the important job of serving?

 No.

We see Him respond with: "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.  Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her".

-------------------------------

Serving, or sitting.

I feel Martha's priorities hammering on my own heart.

I desire Mary's passion to consume it.

Because productivity is like a drug to me.

If I can keep just enough things clean.  If I can check off just enough tasks on the 'to do' list.  If I can visit with enough people.  If I can juggle all the important parts of the day without being swallowed in to chaos...

... I can find my value in that accomplishment.

You know you struggle with this too, if you see anger in your life.

Anger often points to something that we love, but it's being threatened.

We get frustrated, we get angry when our to-do lists go unfinished.

We get mad when the kids distract us from that.one.task we just want to complete.

Because we love to get it done.

To feel that fresh 'hit' of success?

You see it in our conversations.

"How are you?"  "Busy, good!... you know, busy!!"

Because the business of busyness defines us as valuable.

I'm not saying productivity is bad.

I'm not saying let the chaos take over your home or workplace.

There are a lot of good things that can keep us busy.

There are a lot of good things that can keep us distracted from the one thing.

What one thing defines you?

Where do you find your identity?

I believe that where we find our identity, is where we rest.

A heart that does not know it's 'one thing' is the Martha heart - "anxious and troubled about many things".  There is a restlessness.  A running from thing to thing to find comfort, peace, security.... identity.

A heart that rests, is the Mary heart.

Found sitting at the feet of Jesus.

Holding to his teaching.

Leaning on his strength.

Trusting in his promises.

Practically how does that look for us in the harried days of daily life?

One way that I've been convicted lately is to make my 'quiet time'...my devotions of reading/study/prayer take place during the *sweet spot* of the day.

You know, that one precious hour when the kids are hopefully napping.

That delicious moment when you know you could be 20x more productive at cleaning the house, or catching up on e-mails, or fill-in-the-blanks...

I see this as the perfect moment to give a sucker punch to my productive heart.

To clearly show it that we are going to STOP. SIT. and be STILL at the Saviour's feet.

I'm not perfect at it.

I still have a throbbing vein in my forehead that wants to do instead of be.

But I see the sweet relief that comes from this rare rest.

I want more of it.

I want this to be my one thing.

Not to be a woman spread thin to a multitude of things... but to focus in, and go deeper through the One.

What's your one thing?

Is your heart anxious, or has it found this rest?

I pray it has.

Mel ;o)

 

A.musing.mama! 4.7 (COMIC winner)

Isn't that the truth?

Today's COMIC giveaway winner is Nichole M!  This sketch is dedicated to her 13month precocious progeny who loves getting into all sorts of messes while she attempts to clean.

Yes, a carton of ice cream all over his head.

Yes, the toys all over the floor.

(Not depicted... taking the stereo speakers for a 'walk' with the cords as their leashes! ha!)

----

I think we all relate well to the 'futility' of housework with little ones underfoot, don't we?

A BIG thanks to all the hilarious entries for this giveaway, you guys - and your fun families - gave me some great chuckles!

Have a fun weekend friends,

Mel ;o)

--------------

You can catch up on previous COMICS here!

 

children's books. Christmas. and the cross:

Hello friends,

I've mentioned in the past various books that I've found helpful to read for myself.

But, I thought today I would highlight some great reads for the kids!

---

We love thrifting, receiving, and buying books.

We have all sorts of fun ones crammed into the corners of our nest here.

(Anything illustrated by John Patience is an instant purchase for us).

Today's book list, however, is going to focus on those reads that most beautifully point the hearts to Christ.  Because, that's our deepest joy, and we want to share that with the kids.

 ----

*The book titles will link you directly to their order site on Amazon if you're interested*

The Jesus Storybook Bible - by Sally Lloyd-Jones. 

 (Also her book: Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing.)

If you don't own these... I can't recommend them enough!  Every book she touches is gold.  She has a beautiful gift for conveying such profound truths in very simple and unique perspectives for a child to understand.  I did four years of biblical studies.. and I'm still floored by the things she can point out in the story of the Bible.  She also does you the favour of showing how every story in the Bible foreshadows (points to) Christ... wonderful!

Unwrapping the Greatest Gift - by Ann Voskamp.

We haven't read this.. yet.  Since we just ordered it hot off the press for this holiday season.

A scan of the pages has me eager to use it with the kids though.  It's a 25 day countdown to Christmas - using a daily ornament, story from Scripture and applications for how we can be a blessing to others.  I love that each story/ornament shows (once again) that every part of the Bible is pointing to the Christ-child.  The soon coming Saviour. I'm eager to use this book as a tool to encourage our hearts to savour the real meaning of this season.

Long Story Short - by Marty Machowski.

Doing family devotions after dinner is tricky.  Hands are sticky, hearts are distracted.  But, if ever there was a book to help succinctly point our spirit to the richness of God's Word, this book does it.  A great resource for families wanting to have a 'devotional' book that takes you through the Bible and asks questions of your kids (and mom and dad!).

Ok, that's the three big helpful resources of late.

As we enter this Christmas season.. just thought I would share this in case you wanted some fresh inspiration to stay cross-centered in your family.  I know that's not every reader here.  But for our family, in this season so prone to distraction, we want to stay at the cross of Christ.
In a time geared for commercialism.
 We want to tune our hearts to His voice.
In a culture eager to siren call our hearts to other shores.
We want to steer to deeper Living waters.

Don't pile us high with stuff. stuff. stuff.
Don't sell us the cheap lie that we can buy our joy.
Declutter and clear our mind.

Let us see Christ.
For is knowing Him we find the greatest gifts.
Love.
Joy.
Peace.
 

Mel ;o) 
--------------------------------------
P.S... You surely have two minutes to watch this powerful video about 'spending less, and giving more' at this time of year?

A.musing.mama! 4.6

So, I don't know about you, but when the baby is having a fit of 'ain't nothing going to make me happy' I start to go through the mental checklist:

hungry? angry? wet diaper? tired? sick? scared? full moon? voodoo curses? etc.

And when I come up empty.

Teething.

She is always teething if nothing else.

Because that one word still makes me feel like a have a 'clue' about this whole motherhood gig.  It's the answer to calm the fact that I don't have the answers.

Granted, she may be legitimately teething as well.

So, win win... or, something like that (where you still feel like you're losing).

A.musing.mama,

Mel :o)

**P.S: there's still time to enter the GIVEAWAY CONTEST and win your own personalised comic!

A.musing.mama! 4.5

Taking your kids out to walk in public... I've heard it compared to 'herding cats'... yeah, that.

Usually our kids are pretty civil about going to the Mall or places like that, but you're always secretly fearing that this time will be that time when the mall security escort your wild ones out.

Just walking together as a cohesive unit down the sidewalk is a victory for me.

 ------

Sorry again for the delay in this A.musing.mama series.

I hope to get back to sketching these weekly, (although I won't use this marker pen again... ugh)!  I also have another surprise around the corner for you with this series too!

Happy weekend'ing friends,

Mel ;o)

 

 

little fire.

The irony is not lost on me, friends.

That the more I try to teach my children.. the more I am learning myself.

Lately, it's about the power of our words.

I'll relay our little scenario for you:  the daughter comes home from school, saying she's been inviting one friend - but not that other one - to her birthday.  Saying she's done "eenie, meanie, miny-mo..." to choose who can come.  My eyes turn to dinner plates as I envision how painful this situation may have been to the girl 'left out'.  (All the while, I remember using this exact same threat as my own verbal arsenal when I was her age).

I take her aside one afternoon, and talk to her about the power of our words (James 3:5/6).

The poison or pleasantness of our tongues.

Do we want to hurt others, or help them with our speech.

She goes back to colouring,

I go back to contemplating:

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Our tongues are small fires.

Do I raise people up, or raze people down with my words?

Does this fire bring warmth or does it burn?

Does it illuminate the darkness, or sting with it's smoke?

Be careful little fire.

Mel

 

same theme. different books:

Lets be honest, I would not make a very good book reviewer.

I'm the kind of person who picks up a book and thinks "this is GOLD!  I need to tell everyone to read this book!".  Then I pick up the next book and think: "wait, now this is really GOLD!".

So, yeah, while I still try to be a discerning reader... I'm pretty easy to win over if the subject is right.  Lately, (as you may remember from my last post on books worth reading)... my focus is still on parenting, and growing in God's grace.

For those of you who may be in the same boat as me, seeking to raise your kids to delight in the God of grace (not seeking to grow up little legalists who think they're good in their own rule keeping) may I recommend "GIVE THEM GRACE" by Elyse Fitzpatrick.

This book has challenged and inspired my parenting approach.

It has helped me see my own soul mirrored in my children.

It convicted me about how to show the 'prodigal' loving heart of the Father to my children... when I normally would have held on to my anger/frustration/resentment over their defiant moments.

It really opened my eyes to how I could turn small moments into deeper teachable moments about the goodness of God and the brokenness of our own hearts.  How to be humble and honest with my kids... to show them that Mommies need grace too.  A lot of intriguing conversations have happened with our oldest daughter (almost 5yrs) since I've read this book.

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Another gold book of encouragement for you mamas: "TREASURING CHRIST WHEN YOUR HANDS ARE FULL" by Gloria Furman.  She writes in a candid, honest and profound way that sees Christ in every crazy, exhausting, mess of daily motherhood.  Check it out.

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And, because I'm a slow learner... a lot of the other books on my nightstand are still hollering that same theme: grace, grace, grace! at me.

I just read Tullian's "ONE WAY LOVE" for more on that topic.

While my husband and I are also hoping to host a small group book study of "THE DISCIPLINE OF GRACE" by Jerry Bridges.

Yep, it's a lot of the same theme really.

I need to constantly have my focus clarified.

Because my heart constantly wants to make it all about my 'performance' and my own efforts to 'win' the love of God.  In fact, most of our world is based on that paradigm of cause and effect.  What others might call 'karma'.  We try to apply that to God when we think our efforts at being 'good' are what caused Him to save us.  Or, if we truly believe that He saves us through Christ's perfection alone.. we then start to think that it's now up to us to keep ourselves 'good enough' by our own strength.  Every day I need grace.

Every day I need the gospel to reorient my thinking.

The crossroads of my brokenness and His beauty intersecting.

My sin and His salvation exchanging.

I could read a million more books on this divine theme!

What's on your nightstand lately?

I'd love to hear your book recommendations as well.

Mel ;o)