away I go...

 While the kids (and baker man) were tucked into bed,

and the sun still had another hour left of shinin'... I pulled out my bicycle.

I rode down past the tiny war time houses,

and beside the river that weaves through our city.

 I rode out past the highway overpass,

and out past the city limits.

 I rode past the patchwork farm fields,

and grazing cows,

past the dandelions tossing their golden manes,

and the black birds darting over fence posts.

 Out here the roar of the city grew quiet.

The wind howled through my hair, and my heart thumped in my ears.

While the peepers and crickets raised their chorus.

Out here I was free to explore.

To find a hidden path through a glowing meadow.

A place of quiet rest.

I licked the salt from my lips,

and raised the canteen to my mouth.

Refreshed.

I biked home again.

 ---

These simple moments of 'getting away' alone vitalise my spirit.

The rarity of their occurrence in this stage of life makes them all the more eagerly savoured.

Where do you love to find refreshment?

Biking mama,

Mel ;o)

confessions [of a Mel] part.14.

 Sometimes I think I'm getting too sensitive.

Which is weird... because I used to feel too *stoic*.

Life is an ever shifting series of ebb and flow.

Circumstances wash over our heart and make it smooth as a river stone... either softened or hard.

After years of working with troubled youth (as an arts director/mentor).

My heart had broken. stretched. grown. burned out. repeat.

Sometimes it seemed safer to turn to stone.

 We think it's better to not feel - than to risk the pain being real.

Sometimes it's a temporary 'coping' device.

We lock our heart away from the storms to keep it safe.

But sometimes we forget where we put that key.

We forget what it's like to feel...

to risk...

to love...

to lose...

In seeking to free ourselves from heartache, we actually create a prison instead - called apathy.

At least, that was the rocky path I found myself on in the past.

I started not to care.

Nothing 'phased' me.

Nothing shocked me.

Nothing moved me.

It's a dark place to be, friends.

But now, I'm seeing the Light.

So like I said, when I think I'm getting too 'sensitive' - you know it's a big deal.

It hurts sometimes, but it's real.

 I feel.

I almost feel it too much... the griefs, the joys, the love, the hate.

I don't know how God's heart can hold these things in perfect tension: witnessing the appalling horrors that fill this earth - and the dazzling beauty of it all too.

But what I do know is this.

I want to be in the Light.

It takes more strength to feel, than to be a stone.

More power to love, than to hate.

More grace to forgive, than to resent.

More love to encourage, than to criticise.

I want to keep getting softer in my 'old age'.

So that even if my bones get brittle, my heart still beats with love.

----

In memory of Laurie.

----

Mel

here + there.

Another week, another peek at the moment more 'there' than 'here' again.

It's been an utter whirlwind of events lately!

We spent the weekend vacationing with Ben's relatives... an annual Mother's Day reunion.

His Grandparents generously cover the expenses for allll the family to be together!

Despite wet, cold weather... the beach is always a thing of beauty.

There's nothing better than hearing waves crashing outside your door... (I long to live near the ocean).

We also managed to visit with my family, and hang my art show this weekend (with much help from my friend Kiki!)!

As you read previously, I then had my first day back to work.. and lived to tell!

Now, I'm just tired.

 

So now I'm just going to be thankful,

for a soft bed,

for loved ones snoring beside,

for a calm day tomorrow,

playing and parks,

snuggling and sewing.

sweetness.

How's your week spinning there, friends?

Mel ;o)

seasons change.. and so do we:

 I guess it's fitting that I just got this tree mug for "Mother's Day"...(the leaves change from brown to green when hot drinks fill it).  Because the times, they are a-changing.

As I hinted at last week, there's some new developments happening here.

Namely, this stay-at-home-mama is now going back to work!

Only part.part-time that is.

But, literally back to work... at my past workplace ~ Benjamin Moore Paint Store!

It's been a recent whirlwind of coinciding coincidences that brought us to this point.

+ Our baker Ben has been trying to find more work in a city (in)famous for unemployment.

+ Both our Mom's suggested that maybe I could pull a few shifts somewhere - and they would help watch the kids.

+ My old boss kindly (generously) took this prodigal worker back (after the various times I have 'quit/traveled/left' in the past nonetheless!).

+ Ben is also home early enough in the morning to watch the kids for the couple days that I go in to work now too.

So, yah, that was all a bit sudden.

I'm still processing how I feel about it all...

 The mushy-sentimental-mama-side of me is feeling some abandonment issues.

(Yes, especially when I picture them sitting at the window awaiting my return..!).

I want to be home with them.

But sometimes I remember these moments too....

...and am eager to have a small escape from the chaos.

Heh.

But, I do know that I will be so eager to run home and hold them extra tight on work days.

 -----

So, back to work.. for the first day - TODAY!
(So, of course the babe has been up every two hours since 2am.. woo!).

Back to work also means BIKE to work... so that's going to be a great motivator to get me back in shape!

Paint is in my blood.

I'm a 'colour geek' and still have so many names/codes locked in my head.

So I am excited to be back in that creative element.

With ol' co-worker friends I know.

Back downtown in my home city.

A lot of familiar things to return to.

But I feel different.

I've changed... it's been about 7 years since I've been there.

(I ran an art studio for youth after this job, before having kids).

 I've grown, stretched, lived, learned.

Maybe I'll be a bit less of a dork this time around... maybe.

(Oh, and thank you Value Village 50% sale for supplying my back-to-work wardrobe... no more yoga pants and snotty sweaters for me!).

-----

You mamas out there, do you remember your first day back to work (if you've returned?).

I'm really curious - if you need to have you kids watched (i.e. PAID care, daycare, etc) how does it even add up?  I don't get how one works, and pays someone to watch their child.. but still makes a profit in the end to live off?  Am I missing something?
Unless your job pays double what your 'sitters' hourly wage is I suppose?

Just wondering.....

-----

Ok, so there you have it!

Interior design, colour consultant, paint mixer - mama:

Mel ;o)

in the swing of things..

Well here it is, Mother's Day.. and it seems remiss for me not to pop in and say how thankful I am to have worn this 'mama' hat for the past 3.5 years now.

Still learning as I go.

Laughing.

Loving.

And all that other craziness in between.

Speaking of craziness though, that's our life right now (good crazy, no worries) and I'm running off to hang an art show in the midst of it now!

For all you mamas out there, I send you extra hugs and high fives today.

I wrote in my Mom's card "I think God gives us kids as 'payback' for all the stuff we put our parent's through".... because, you know.

Ok, I'll catch up with you all again soon friends!

Hope you're keeping well in your corner of the globe there!?

mama Mel

*P.S - In lieu of the whirlwind here, no Monday Mamalogues tomorrow. stay tuned!

same shirt...

...different day darling.

Ok, holy gushing gerbers Batman! but this mama is having a moment... and I just can't get enough of these adorable 'comparison' shots of our two babes.  I just re-discovered this awesome batman onesie yesterday while clearing out the closet - it fits Hudson perfectly now!

Y'all remember I'm crazy for Batman right?

Not, cr-aaaa-zeee...but just convinced he's the coolest superhero around.

So yah, that cuteness right there just made my day.

Have a super one yourself!
mel ;o)

here + there.

sip + savour.

window watcher.

stripes + swings.

bright blossoms.

colourful crunching. (Hummus recipe below*).

sunlight + shadow patchwork.

finally finished!

--------------

Another week, another peek at the moments in our nest.

Granted, with all this lovely warm weather.. we're more 'there' than 'here'.

Lots of playing in parks.

Swinging in the sunshine.

 Picking fresh tulips from our garden.

----

More sewing, more painting... all my skyscapes are finally done for the start of this show at Black Honey Cafe (up for 6 weeks after Mother's Day!).

<Insert happy dance>

It's been a great chance to experiment again, and I'm really happy with the new collection I've created here (lots more to see at the show, too).

----

It's a busy week/weekend ahead with family *reunions* and mother's day visits... and getting the art all ready to hang.

I may disappear for a bit... 

----

Ch-ch-ch-changes are on the horizon for our wee nest too.

I'm excited.sad.happy.hopeful.unsure about it all.

(Don't you just love vague statements like this..?!)

Sorry.. but I'll keep y'all posted.

All that to say we've been really, really blessed lately.

Seeing God work through His church - our 'chosen' family - to help us, is humbling and wonderful.

God knows our needs.

His mercies are new every morning.

----

That's us, 

how are you doing this week?

Mel ;o)

-------------------------------------------

*Homemade hummus recipe (in the highly unmeasured style of my cooking!)

+ Chick peas (smaller can, rinsed).

+ garlic clove (1-2 if you like a nice hit).

+ lemon juice (2 - 4 tblspns)

+ sesame oil (2-4 tblspns)

+ salt/pepper (dash)

Combine all in a food processor... adding equal parts lemon juice/sesame until it blends to a creamy smooth paste.

Enjoy with raw veggies, pitas... etc.

Mmmmmmm... hummus!