confessions (of the heart).

 I'm going to be honest with you, friends.

There have been moments, and there have been days, where I feel overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed by the to-do lists.

Overwhelmed by trying to be a 'good enough' parent.

Or, a 'good enough' wife.

Or, a 'good enough' friend.

Trying to cover all the bases... and it turn, feeling spread too thin.

"There's just too many 'good' things!  I'm no good at keeping up with them all!" I'd sigh.

At that point, the mountain of dirty dishes, or laundry.. or sin in my heart... would be enough to throw me into an internal fit of 'shutting down'.

"I'll just seethe inwardly until I survive to the end of this day.. sleep it 'off' and TRY, try again tomorrow" I'd think.

Repeat cycle.

Repeatedly overwhelmed.

Call it a 'Saviour complex' if you want - this gauntlet of trying to be 'all things' for all the needs around you.  But I call it a misplaced FOCUS.

Because you know what I keep discovering?

When I keep the ONE THING my main thing... all the other things fall in their proper place.

I was meditating on Psalm 27.  That beautiful verse came off the page at me:

 "One thing have I asked of the Lord,

that will I seek after:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord

and to inquire in his temple.

For he will hide me in his shelter

in the day of trouble;

he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;

he will lift me high upon a rock."

This was the answer to all my weariness.  This is the joy in all the whirlwind of life.  When I get my sights fixed on Jesus I get overwhelmed again.

Overwhelmed by His grace and love towards me.

Overwhelmed with care and compassion towards those around me.

Once my heart stays focused on this ONE THING, I am empowered to attend all the other things.  For when my 'vertical' gaze is set right, my 'horizontal' gaze sees all the needs and lives of others through this cross-centred lens.

When I look to the 'things I do' to define me, I resent them and grow weary.

When I look to 'who I am in Christ' to define me, I rejoice and serve eagerly.

I think it's right back to that recent post I wrote about being like Martha or Mary.

If my heart is consumed with anxiety, I know I'm running off a horizontal perspective.

If my heart is overwhelmed with a peace beyond my power, I know the vertical perspective of gazing on the goodness of the gospel has lavished my heart.

This is my testimony.

When the days and moments feel overwhelming, when it feels like I'm drowning.

I look to Christ, and know my feet stand high upon that rock.

I hope and pray this sure footing is in your lives as well friends.

Warmly,

Mel ;o)