34 weeks... and counting.

Yes, friends we've entered our 34th week of baby brewing over here.

Needless to say I'm facing that bi-polar energy wave of relentlessly cleaning and sorting through our nest... and then just wanting to go 'belly up' and sleep until it's all over.

The common question at this stage is 'soooo, are you ready?'.  

Maybe they just mean... do you have all the stuff you need?
I figure that this is a short list... basically we just need diapers, clothes and boobs.

(Actually I'm very grateful to friends and family for returning/ or passing along the baby items we had previously started purging from our home.... ha, ooops!).

 Anyway, what I take from the common question of 'are you ready?' is something deeper.
Which makes me awkwardly answer..."um, yes...??" with a scrunched up nose and sideways smile (for how does one actually say 'no, not really, thanks').

Because if I'm being real (which is a big goal of mine)... I'm a mixed bag.
I'm all kinds of eagerness to see those tiny fingers and toes glowing fresh from the womb.
I'm totally overwhelmed with the 'first-day-of-school' nerves about facing another life to be responsible for.
I think we can handle this.
I fear we can't handle this at all.
This is going to be crazy.
This is an incredible miracle.

And so my elastic heart stretches and snaps and springs back again.

You'd think I'd have this all 'figured out' by now, what with two kids and all... but now I'm starting to notice a common theme: the next step into the unknown is always a mix of fright and delight.
The main fright being that we're three times as unlikely to get any sleep anymore... the main delight being how teeny tiny this lil' gal is going to be compared to our ever-growing big kids!

I've been sorting through baby clothes and inwardly squealing at how cute and tiny they are.
Oh, I've also just started watching that series "Call the Midwife" and am crying at every birth scene... so I think that's preparing me for labour... or, something.

Lastly, I know I'm not alone in these feelings - thanks to you friends on my Facebook who respond to my manic mama outbursts of feeling completely overwhelmed/insane in the daily chaos moments...  and come to think of it - there's at least 10 other friends I know having babies in the next couple of months.  An invasion of BABIES!!

So, maybe I just need to start practising those labour breathing techniques at this point...
....annnnnd, breathe. 

We'll keep you updated!

Mel ;o)

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