Forgive me friends, it's been a while since my last confession.
My mama heart is getting squished in various directions now as we're half way through this second pregnancy. I'm excited of course for our next child... but the bittersweet thoughts tend to creep in too.
I confess a sentimentalist's perspective about losing the special one-on-one times with my daughter Azriel. I know we're gaining double the love.joy.craziness in reality, but I still get struck with this idea of loss sometimes. If you're a parent, did you face this feeling... on the brink of a growing family?
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| mama-daughter date at The Pastry Peddler... Mmmmmm! |
It makes me remember to savour these mama-daughter days.
I still have a lot of growing to do in preparation for the next child (and I don't just mean my belly).
I still need to grow in more patience. more grace. more playfulness.
I hate those moments (hours or days) when I am parenting out of frustration.tiredness.exasperation.
I need to keep filling up at the Fountain head of faith.hope.love to pour refreshment into this growing family.
I know these fleeting moments of diapers and small steps will soon be blurred into that crazy moment of their large steps of leaving this nest.
I confess I need not fear the changes that always come,
but simply rest, and savour these precious souls entrusted to me each day.
all-a-mush mama,
Mel ;o)
I remember all to well last winter/beginning of spring. Oliver and I were watching a movie, and he did his usual snuggle under my left arm to play with the many bracelets on that hand. Here I was, approaching that enourmous, I have to pee AGAIN stage, and ever so emotional, I realized at that moment that my days of holding my one "baby" would soon be over, it would never be just the two of us ever again! I began a 45 minute session of sobbbbbbbbbbbbing. You are not alone in how you are feeling! Of course the love grows, and there is always room for more love, but there certainly is a bitter sweetness with this change. Though I will say, my heart certainly swells when my little boy snuggles under the same arm he always did, there is someone else snuggled under the other arm *gush* :)
ReplyDeleteoh, and I just need to ask, when are we going to get the news on which type of babe you are having?????
<3 suz
aww, thanks sistah Suz.. it's good to hear your sweet stories. Hehe. YES I will be posting that within the next week - was trying to think of a clever way to do it.. not being so clever I plan to just come 'out with it' in a few days! ;o)
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