Confession: Nothing in life makes me feel more bi-polar than being a mama.
If you have/had toddlers in your nest, I trust you can relate.
Those moments when your terrific kid becomes a terror.
They dribble milk over your laptop.
Jump on the couch with painted hands.
Poke/bite their baby sibling (or playmates...sorry friends!).
Shriek worse than Tolkien 'ring-wraiths'.
Whine endlessly for what you've already refused them...
... now, I'm only a patient mama for so long.
The tea kettle of frustration starts it's high-pitch squeal in my heart... (you can almost see the steam coming from my ears)!
In these intense moments, it scares me how bi-polar I feel.
That the daughter I adore with every molecule in me... can trigger so much anger.
These are the times we take a break for 'fresh air'.
See, good mamas take their kids to the park for the exercise outside... I go for the 'public accountability' to not throttle my child in the privacy of my own home! ;o)
I figure it's better I be behind these jungle gym bars... than prison ones!
(Lord, I hope you're not a new reader and think I'm being fully serious here.. don't call Children's Aid!).
Anyways, this is the truth: Play dates/park dates... are really just the necessary measures of keeping this mama sane some days.
For it is here that I give myself a 'time-out'... laying back on the slide, I look up into the blue sky and breathe the prayer: "God I need Your grace right now, I've got none left".
Meanwhile my daughter is oblivious to the fact that I'm 'freaking out inside'... and comes giggling down the slide for her signature 'smash mom move' (video seen here)!
And in no time.. we're both giggling, tickling, cuddling together.
The anger goes as quick as it came.
The diabolical daughter becomes a delight.
We are both reborn again.
I'm guess this crazy.cycle will likely be set to 'repeat' until she's past her teens!
Though I'm not sure when I'm supposed to 'grow out of it'.
Yep, bi-polar mama here.... please tell me your relate?
Gosh, we both have so much growing up to do.