This topic has been rattling around in my head for a while now, years actually.
Maybe it was even as a child..
I pointed at someone and said:
"Look Mom, they're weird!"
She gently corrected (as she often still does).. "we don't say weird dear, they are just different".

I wonder what is it about humankind that we find it so hard to live up to our name... 
so quick to judge than be gentle
so quick to criticize than to compliment

I know we're all broken people, but do we have to point out the cracks in others to feel like ours are more hidden?
Does it always have to be about 'us' vs.'them'... that by distancing ourselves we are somehow more superiour?  Forgive me for saying 'we' if you think this doesn't apply to you... but in my 30+ years on this planet I'm noticing a habit in our hearts.

Judging is easier than loving.

An example, I used to think Moms with those kids that have a complete tantrum in the store.. were just bad at parenting.
Then I had kids, then I knew... we're trying our best, but the kids still throw fits.
Or the kid who's always causing trouble in the neighbourhood,
smashing toys, harassing others...  'what a punk!' we say.
Then at night I hear his father screaming obscenities at him. 

How about the overweight girl with greasy hair,
maybe she's just got bad 'self-esteem' or can't control her appetite?
Truth is she's been sexually assaulted in the past.. and now hides behind her weight.
She fears to look 'desirable' and risk further abuse.
Just a few horrid examples, terrible moments in my heart where I'm guilty of judging instead of loving.
I think I need this quote tattooed on the back of my eyelids.

I also remember reading a quote about how 'we sin to the degree by which we treat others as objects.. not subjects' ... and that has stuck with me.  If we are simply using people for what they can offer.benefit.provide us... they're objectified. 
A simple example: the cashier at the grocery store... do we interact with them graciously, or grumble at the time it takes for them to ring up our receipt?

Every body has a story.
Let's treat each other that way, especially when we're so prone to judge them by the cover on their 'book'.

Whether they're covered in tattoos, or piercings.
No matter their skin colour.
Regardless of economic standing.
Every soul is precious in the sight of God.
Let's treat others as we wish to be treated.

Personally, I always have a much better day when I choose to flex my heart muscle and love others.  The days I'm weak and settle for judging makes me feel like a puddle of poop in no time.

It's like any habit really, we have to fight to go against it.
(Case in point: cross your arms... notice which way you did it?  Try going the opposite direction now, weird right?)

So it feels strange, awkward... but the more we do it, the easier it gets.
I don't know about you, but I want it to be 'easier' to love others on a daily basis.
I pray the Spirit makes it harder for me to judge others as well... 

That's been on my heart lately,
thanks for letting me rant.

seeking to be mind.full and kind.full mama,
Mel ;o)

Oh, and some outtakes to show I'm still weird different Mom! 

Pretty sure this face is what attracted Ben to me.
Mama-daughter dance party... a.k.a: Mama flails like deranged hippo, Azi hops like a bunny.


  1. This is so very true. We all need this reminder every now and again, don't we? I hate that it's so easy to judge, when we should be spreading love and positivity...it's something I try to do everyday.

  2.  thanks Carly, I think you're doing a pretty swell job of that as far as all your kind comments go (around the blogsphere too!).  Happy birthday again beautiful!

  3. I'm always having this conversation, with myself or with others. About how easy it is to judge; how it sneaks up like a slithering snake and ZAP! stings someone/yourself - more oft than not, unintentionally. Being human is far too complicated. Far too weird. Of course, I like weird. Odd. Off-kilter. That doesn't mean I haven't judged; I'm sometimes far too human, and not enough human*kind*.
    Thank you for taking the time & thoughtfulness to write this, Mel. It's good to challenge ourselves & others - it gives us a chance to rise to the challenge & strengthen our self-awareness.
    (wow, am I ever wordy!)
    p.s. if I host a cupcake party, you are on the top of the list! (and I know, I really should do it ... !!)

  4.  thank YOU sweet Caren for a good 'wordy' response, I appreciate your heart and thoughts always.
    I'm also terribly eager to cram cupcakes in my mouth at any and all FABparty you may arrange! ;o) hehe.  xoxo

  5. Wonderful words from a wonderful soul!!
    There's too much to say and there's nothing to say at the same time... I agree with you!
    All the best,

  6.  Hello Gulcin, thank you for your kind words, and for stopping by the nest here! ;o)

  7. It is easier to judge than to be open minded, not sure why?  It is terribly easy to label & sum up a person in seconds without knowing a stitch about who they are. The niceties of everyday life seem to have all but faded away.  Which makes my heart sad.  People generally don't interact with each other while out & about on their everyday paths, why?  When did that happen?  I try to spark up conversations with people I come across or at the very least pass along a smile & make eye contact (that wasn't always the case); almost every time that "risk" is taken there is something there to be gained... it grounds me in a way to put my little life's path in perspective. It is fun to get a tiny peek into the pages inside the outside cover, or like you said "we all have a story".  So so true.  Such a heartfelt post, thank-you for a good think.Danielle

  8.  Yes, I think it must often be a 'fear' thing or need to 'control' that we sum people up so fast - assuming/judging them instead of learning them.  It's a sad state of the human heart, but I am thankful for God's grace to work through my icky one.. and share a bit more light & love.
    Thank you for your comments Danielle... happy swimming!
    Mel ;o)

  9. This post makes me think of one of my favorite songs, I Know It's Over by the Smiths, "It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate, it takes guts to be gentle and kind" http://youtu.be/P2e7dpVDX54
    I love you and I love that you're weird (I mean different). You have such a sweet and gentle heart.
    I keep the book A Gentle Heart by the Dalai Lama around the house in places where I can see it and flip it open at all times (usually it's in the bathroom). Just even looking at his kind smile on the front cover reminds me to be mindful of my thoughts and feelings and encourages me to think kind thoughts towards myself and towards others.

  10.  aw, and I love that you're back in my life! ;o)  Thanks for that retro soundtrack.. his voice kept growing on me as I listened.  I'm touched by your encouragements, thank you sweet mama, hope we can hook up again soon. xo


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