shades of grey...

(... nearing the end of my seventh month in pregnancy.)

When life is a constant balance between light and dark,
between the bitter and the sweet,
the sorrow and the rejoicing...
... do we live in shades of grey?

This is the season for being merry and bright, right?

I know it's also the hardest time of year for many.

For those who miss loved ones - this season brings an added sting.

*****

You may remember the loss that our family faced a few short months ago.

It just keeps hitting us now - as this life grows in me - that life we won't get to see.

Looking across this lake in the window... right where her wee frame was laid to rest... fills me with such confusion.  

Heartbroken for the loss of a niece, heart-filled for the addition of our son.

Sorrow-full, yet rejoicing.

We struggle with feeling 'guilty' for being pregnant.  How do we hold the joy in our cup without it spilling over and tormenting those who grieve?

This is a bittersweet season for our family.

A time of mourning.  A time of rejoicing.

Some days it does feel like living in shades of grey...  but some days it just makes every moment that much more precious. every colour of the day more real. more appreciated.

We remember to be grateful for the time we have.  

To savour an embrace.

To hold that hand longer.

To love.

Live.

Laugh.

To remember the greatest gift this season is the hope that Jesus brought of life eternal... and that our niece is already walking in that light.

***

Sometimes I just need to 'write my heart out' here,

thanks for listening,

Mel ;o)