Lately I've been pondering what makes a house feel like a home.
Both as an artist - and as a home.maker - I am very connected to my surroundings as being a 'reflection' of me/my family. Which is why, (as you would have seen in our recent home tour), our place is brimming with clutter creativity!
So, one would think we would feel at home here.
But, we don't.
Ben and I still can't shake it off.
After almost three years living in this house... it still doesn't fit right.
Like forcing ourselves in to a shirt with too much starch, and a size too small.
It's not because we don't love our house-mates - we do!
It's not that we don't love our friends nearby - we do!
The space, the place... just doesn't feel right to us.
We're still trying to put a finger on why.
Because it's near a busy intersection ...and we long for quiet?
Too much concrete... when we want the woods?
City dwellers... who want to be more rural?
Yeah, that could be it.
These four walls we put ourselves in can mean a lot to us, eh?
While I know that home is really wherever I am with my family... (even a wet cardboard box would be a 5-star hotel as long as I have them)... it still weighs on my heart, this notion of home.
Looking back over the places I've lived (since moving away from my childhood home) I can trace the highs/lows of living arrangements. Some apartments we rented were fantastic, and I felt that this was my special haven. Other places felt foreign, no matter how long I may have lived there... it seemed like I was just visiting, not truly living there.
Am I making any sense?
That a place can either fit you, or not.
That an environment can embrace you, or repel.
Am I making any sense?
That a place can either fit you, or not.
That an environment can embrace you, or repel.
--------
But then, maybe this whole longing points to something even deeper.
Maybe I can't shake this restless quest for belonging... because I keep looking around me, when I should be looking up.
The God who flung stars into space,
has stretched eternity into my heart.
Is it any wonder that the things of this world just can't satisfy.
Is it any wonder that the things of this world just can't satisfy.
"This world has nothing for me, and this world has everything..."
What feels like home for your heart?
home.sick mama,
Mel ;o)
That's so interesting that you're writing about this- we haven't even moved into our house yet, but I already feel like it doesn't feel right. I want to change everything and make it our own. We've lived in so many different places, and I don't remember ever feeling this so strongly. I want to paint every surface! Clean every inch! Burn every leaf! (in the yard). We'll see what happens once we get more settled.... but you're right about looking up. We'll never belong in this world so maybe it's best if we don't get too comfortable! Ha!
ReplyDeletethis has been the story of my life. but for me i feel like part of the reason is because my parents always moved around a lot and i don't remember having a place i could call home aside from the house we lived in until i was 8. i am always searching for home. and the grass always seems greener on the other side. when i purchased my 1 bedroom condo on miami beach back in 2006, it felt good to finally "settle". it finally felt like home after a while, i met Will, we had Lily and we lived in there as long as we could as a family of 3. when we found this yellow house we are now renting, it felt like the right space to move into and out of our little beach nest. the house feels good. does it feel like home? it's starting to. but i can't help but dream of a different view out of my windows... xo
ReplyDeleteWhenever I've moved, the first thing I do is put up ALL the art. G's room is filled with it and it makes me feel so good <3
ReplyDeleteaww, so fun - nice! I loved that arrangement you made for her (and even saw a peek of that fawn hoop there.. sweet!) ;o)
ReplyDeletewow.. yes a gypsy life could certainly influence that feeling eh? Maybe you need to have interchangeable landscapes to drape outside your windows?! lol I LOVE your home there.. and the decor inspirations/influences! xx
ReplyDeleteOh I hear you.. anytime I enter a 'new' space to live in.. I have to completely turn it upside down and change every molecule of it...!! While I think our homes can show the beauty and creativity of our Creator, its best we keep it in perspective and make sure it points us to Him instead of becoming our focus eh? Eager to see your new space!! xx
ReplyDeleteI hear you on this...it's been awhile since I've truly felt at home somewhere. The decision we keep making not to paint or to take an apartment that doesn't feel just right has been catching up on me a lot lately. I am similarly a bit stuck on how to get to the homey feeling place, where you can just come in, put up your feet and know everything is right with the world. Hoping our next move will result in the more space and closeness to school/work to make for more relaxing for me. However I know for me this is a a goalpost--being able to move means being done school, being able to look for a new job and being able to move on with my life....i'm definitely at that point of feeling stuck here and wanting to be somewhere else!
ReplyDeleteHope you figure out what it is that's niggling you with this space and come to some homey solutions!
xo Gillian
Hmm . . .or maybe it's because you're in the wrong city. Waterloo could use an Inglis family, or two. Peterborough is hogging them all.
ReplyDelete