inner mamalogues...

I think we all have some Eeyore's in our life, don't we?
They tend to forecast rain when the sun is shining... or see the cloud and not the silver lining.
They predict the problems, but not the solutions.
They'd rather mope than marvel.
Complain than celebrate.

They're still pretty lovable though, in a sad sympathetic way.

Now, the real problem I have is the Eeyore inside.
And to some degree I think we all struggle with these 'voices' in our head throughout our life.
They tend to stick to a basic monologue:
"You're pathetic".
"You can't...."
"You're a loser.."

As a teenager it was more like:
"You're too fat. You're too lame. You're not worth hearing."

As an artist it was more like:
"You aren't original.  You have no training/skills. No one will appreciate your work"

Over the years I've started to recognise that vicious voice.
I've even started to realise that I didn't have to just passively listen to it... but could talk back!
Yes, I talk to the voices in my head.. and it sounds like this:
 Ok, but seriously.  You know what I wasn't prepared for?
The inner mamalogues that have now been hitting me hard. 
Only recently... as I've been coming out of the newborn stupor, and seeing our nest now filled with a fitful sleeper 5 month old boy, and a toddler tempest... have I been broad-sided.
 It's right at that moment when Azriel is screaming loudest (and I'm just waiting for her head to start spinning around)... and sure, maybe Hudson is crying too (probably because I looked sideways at something with dairy in it)... and lets just add that the phone is now ringing - that the voice inside starts declaring:
"You can't do this"
"You're a hot mess"
"This is never.going.to.stop"
"There's no escape even if you wanted it".
It's like getting beat up from the inside... while everything outside is kicking you down.

I asked my Ben the other day:
"Do you think I'm allowed to hit a post-partum depression this far after birth?!"
(Granted, I was over-tired and feeling irritable as a result).
But, it wasn't until I really assessed my thought patterns that I realised what's been the real Eeyore-factor here.
It's been an epiphany for me.
Not a miracle, but a moment of clarity.

I needed to stop listening to that inner-rant chant... and speak against it.

Not in some power-of-positive-thinking attempt... but speaking truth.

It doesn't mean the days are all aglow now.
But it does mean that when the tantrums and trials hit... this mama has stopped listening to the smack-talk, and started saying:
"By God's grace, you can do this"
"You were made for this"
"These treasures will not be this small for long"
"Be gentle with yourself, and them".

I don't know you guys, it's just been a wild ride lately... but these are some of the ponderings that this mama is facing - and sharing - in case they may just help even one sweet soul to break through their own inner.mamalogues.

 Kicking Eeyore to the curb,

Mel ;o)


  1. Yes!  Kicking Eeyore to the curb!  I love it.  I may post that line above my computer.

  2.  hehe, go for it... just pay me the royalties.. er, shoot, I didn't copyright it!  Thanks Matrim. ;o)

  3. Laura_vanderherberg2 August 2012 at 14:56

    Thanks for being so real... I know about the inner monologues. I have that as an artist and as a person. Keep creating because you make beautiful things that are genuinely unique. 

  4. Great post, Melissa. Eeyore... that little devil. I've been arguing with him my whole life too. I think we can all relate. But you've addressed it in a fun and creative way.

    I have two stepsons at home, one four and the other seven. I've been a part of things for better than three years now, and some of the Eeyore comments have had a lot to do with my age, experience and the validity of my role as stepfather. I fight them every day so that I can get the most out of this amazing process, and so that I can give the most in the midst of it.

    Thanks for writing!

  5.  Hey there Dan! Thanks for stopping in, sounds like you're getting a good handle on this whole parenting thing... and I like the way you write about it too!
    Thanks for reading, (and writing). ;o)

  6.  You're sweet Laura, thank you for the encouragements... you keep creating too! ;o)

  7. fantastic post...Eeyore visits this mama, too.  
    thanks for the encouraging post...you are so humble and sweet...

    a breath of fresh air in my blog reads.  every time.


  8.  Oh, I am humbled and touched that you would think that of me - thank you lovely lady!  Hope your crew has a fantastic weekend! xo

  9. I hear you! I thought I was a pretty patient person before having kids... the job is just too much sometimes it seems.

    One of the big moments of truth for me is when I realized that I could make mistakes and that talking to the kids and my hubby about making my mistakes and how I felt about them and asking for forgiveness from them or my husband and/ or myself was more important than being whatever I think a 'perfect parent' is.

    I think identifying the negative voice is half the battle (hehe see, I did learn something from GI Joe). But seriously, you want to be and you are working at being the best momma you can be. And that is what makes you an amazing mom!

    Lots of love to you from me and my wee ones to you and yours!


Thanks for dropping by our nest, I love to hear from you!