Grab a cup of tea, friends... this may just be a biiiig post.
I've been wanting to write about our 'living arrangement' for quite a while now.
To tell you how we took a home, smashed it in two and rebuilt it as a 'duplex'.
How we share our nest with Ben's younger brother and his wife.
To explain our perspective on intentional community.
That's the basic intro... here we go:
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Yes, the above picture is looking from our living room into the once nasty kitchen.
When we tour people through our nest, I tend to explain it as: "everywhere you see a wall - used to be a doorway; and everywhere you see a doorway - used to be a wall".
Thanks to the vision of our Father-in-law we reformatted the layout of this house to become a duplex set-up for the two brothers and their hot wives. ;o)
So, this shot on the left was supposed to be our 'house' shot... but I decapitated the guys (why I need a tripod!). Instead, here's the Inglis family shot for you to see our whole crew.
We would not be living here if it wasn't for the parent-in-laws amazing support.
They helped us get out of the financial 'renters black hole' and actually have a home to build some 'equity' with.
Double the people = double the fun:
Sharing a home means shared bills.
Shared mortgage/tax payments.
We also share meals or coffee times throughout the week.
And when in a baking pinch: butter, eggs, or other ingredients are an easy delivery!
Shared joys, shared trials.
Shared tears, and smiles.
Shared joys, shared trials.
Shared tears, and smiles.
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| Aunt Sarah-Anne and Hudson. Uncle Tristan and Azriel. |
Though I know it's not for everyone, Ben and I feel strongly about pursuing this type of lifestyle.
While Sartre states that "Hell is other people"... I believe that we are designed for community.
In contrast, isolation is the real torment to ones soul.
We need each other. No one is a rock... or an island (despite how groovy Simon & Garfunkel sing it!). God is Himself a Trinity... a divine community.
That doesn't mean it's not difficult - all relationships stretch us.
The stretching can be painful... but it also causes growth.
Living in community, you need to communicate well.
You need to be patient, flexible, and hospitable.
Yes, they have to endure hearing the kid's screaming and running around the house over here.
Yes, we have to endure hearing them screaming and running around in a 'tickle-war' over there! ha! But it's great overall.
We really love that our kids get to grow up with their Aunt & Uncle close by (Azi loves to run to the window and wave at them every time they come or go).
Having family is a blessing.
But then there's the 'chosen family' of friends nearby too.
The real reason we gravitated to this house was it's location - smack dab in the centre of various close friends. For us stay-at-home mamas it's a wonderful support to walk five minutes and find a friend for you (and your kids) to hang with.
They have been a huge help to me (especially after my surgery) and I thank God for their friendships.
This is the community I intentionally seek out.
Like any relationship: it grows, or shrinks, based on the effort we put into it. Sometimes it seems easier to be an introvert and hide in my cave... but easy has never meant 'healthy' in my books, when I force myself to get out and visit, or pick up a phone and call... I always feel better for having connected with another soul.
Since hospitality is one of the rhythms in our nest we strive for - it's great to be in a place where we can daily have friends into our home for meals, or a cup of tea.
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Ben and I still talk about joining an intentional community in the future.
Not the Kool-Aid cult communes.
Not a group of homogeneous clones.
But a diverse group of folk eager to share life together.
Whether or not we find that place...
...we're making home intentional here.
What about you?
Would you ever picture living in a community?
I'd love to hear your perspective,
making home. home maker,
Mel ;o)
