confessions [of a Mel] part.11.

Hi.  My name is Mel.  I'm a choco'holic.

No, I haven't spent my last dime just to have one more hit.  
I don't live under a bridge, snorting the 'cocoa'.
But, you know... close enough.
In the moment when you're afforded that rare fore-sight to see that the path you're on is leading to a problem... what do you do?

At what point does a 'guilty pleasure' turn into an unhealthy addiction?

What thing in your life do you reward yourself with?

I've been pondering those questions lately.
Because I was put on the spot.. and blurted out what I thought was a joke.
Back history: a lady at a Bible study recently asked me what I do when my day doesn't go 'according to plan'.. when l'm frustrated/angry/stressed... 
"I don't know... I guess I just forget the things I wanted done that day because of the kids being crazy or whatever.." I said.

"Ok, but what do you DO because of that frustration.. yell?  Throw things?" she wondered.

"Ummm.... no.  I eat chocolate".  I kidded back.
Needless to say, that conversation got me sliding down a labyrinth of introspection (a favourite pastime of mine, really).

I started to notice a pattern with my sweets consumption.
It looked like this:
Exhausted by parenting?  A handful of candies.
Deserving a break/reward?  Another handful.
Stressed by finances?  Sure, eat more sugar!
Hungry?  Yep, chocolate's a food group in my books.
Sink full of dishes?  Roll up sleeves.. and plunge into bag of candies.

Talk about a frightening pattern... turns out my will power is the consistency of Jell-O.
My choco-cravings are becoming my coping crutches.
I can see the slippery slope people must find here.. that by degrees we can get to a place we never dreamt of.  I could be packing on the pounds and wonder what happened.. and then keep eating to assuage the self-contempt!  Um, that would suck.

I know, I know.. it's just chocolate.  It's not like I'm not addicted to gambling, drugs, or Jack Daniels.
But the heart issue still has the same root: 
*looking for comfort/distraction from things that trouble us.*

We all have stresses, trials, pain in this life.
We all have ways of coping.
Maybe it's time to re-evaluate if they're helping or harming us.

So, I'm still going to eat my sweet, tasty chocolate.
(P.S ~ You're my best friend if you show up at the door with Lindt.)
 But, I'm going to make sure I know why I'm eating it in that moment... reminding myself to pray through the frustrations/anxieties of the day.
"God, I cast my cares on You, for you care for me" (1 Peter 5:7).

What about you?
What's your escape plan?

Sweet toothed, soul training,
Mel ;o)


  1. i'm one of those "bread and cheese" kinda gals, and chocolate and sweets while i like them, if someone told me i couldn't ever eat them again, i probably wouldn't panic. however...after having gibbson, i find myself really really loving dark chocolate and every once in a while if i'm having a "moment" i'll break off a piece from the freezer from my TRAY (just replenished yesterday afternoon) of banana chocolates and homemade toasted almond bark.... SCARY part is that i JUST broke off a piece and was devouring it as i was reading this post. it gets more and more eerie every day mama.... anyway, if there is no chocolate, it's iced coffee hands down, makes nearly everything better :0)

  2. I draw! Even if it's just for 5 minutes, and is a scribble... Put them all together and you have a body of work worth reflecting on!!

  3. i. LOVE. chocolate. i must eat it every day. several times a day. how many lindt bars do i have in my fridge right now? 3. 3! chili, orange and salt. i think i will go eat eat some right now... xoxo

  4. I'm with you on the need for chocolate to stay at an even keel :P Outta the good stuff? A tiny cup of chocolate chips will do in a pinch :P

  5. ha.. (phew) I'm in good company then! I know.. I make cookies/muffins just as a 'vehicle' for more chocolate chips... since a handful alone seems so 'savage' some days. ;o)

  6. Nooooooo, that's just mean Claudia.. !!! lol. I'll be right over! nom nom nom.

  7. Now that's a great idea Annie... hmm... maybe I could start drawing different chocolates each day?! ;o) xx

  8. .. get out of MY head woman!! lol... no, I love that we're in sync so often, truly! Sounds like you're the healthy version of chocolate options there.. good job! xx

  9. haha I cut down on my savagery with the fancy cup :) and hey, sometimes that's all you have time for :)

  10. To make you feel a bit better, sugar is as addicting as cocaine ... so you really are addicted LOL ... maybe with less significant consequences though.

  11. umm... thanks?! Is that for real Lyds?? I feel concerned, maybe I should get eat some carrots... lol


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