[M.M.4] what no one tells you [toddlers]

Welcome back to Monday Mamalogues!
Where we all get together to share the beauty and breakdowns of motherhood.
(Any newcomers can just grab the Mamalogue button down the right column here).
 If you've been with us since the recent start of this series you'll have already read my editions of 'what no one tells you about: pregnancy/delivery/infancy...' and today is my final topic! (Just in this 4-part series... Mamalogues will keep-a-going!)


Just the thought of trying to put this subject into words almost has my eye twitchingOhmyfreakingoodness... toddlers!

the end.

Ok, honestly.  When people ask me: "sooo, what's it like having kids now?" the first thought that comes to my mind is: "it's like being bi-polar".
So, I usually say: "yup.. it's pretty wild".

But, just between me and you... it.is.like.being.bi-polar!
I used to think I was a pretty mellow, relaxed, easygoing, non-pulsed, patient person.
Now, post-toddler, I feel like Jekyll & Hyde.
I can feel complete gushing head-over-heels affection for my child one second.. and a moment later be giving them the 'hairy eyeball' with a vein popping out of my forehead.

I used to think that kids throwing down a massive tantrum in a store was a sign of bad parenting.
Now, I know better.  Kids freak out, it's like.. their thing.

Oh, there's so much more I could regale you with about toddlers..  (the way they syphon your energy all day/night - so the more exhausted you are, the crazier they get.  How they refuse every ounce of healthy food you try to serve.. but beg constantly for snacks.  The way they need your attention 24/7.. especially if you go to the bathroom.  Their complete aversion to: pottys, kleenex, obedience, sleeping-in.  You know.. that kind of stuff.
But, I won't.

All I will say here is that no one tells you how having a child will be: the.biggest.test.of.how.completely.selfless.you.can.be.

If you've been raised in this me-ism culture that applauds pursuing your dreams, your goals, your ambitions... that preaches it's all about you.. and you're made of stardust and your poop is made of rainbows.  Well, them kids is going to blow your mind.

It ain't about you.
 But you know what, the more we 'lose' ourselves in the loving service and care of others... the better we become.

You may look in the mirror and not even recognize yourself.  Sure, it's because you haven't showered in days, and your clothes are smeared in various goos... but your heart is changing too.

The really good things in life... are often really hard work. 
Motherhood is hard, wonderful, tough, crazy stuff.
I fail at it often.  God knows I need His grace daily.
Whether you have one kid or ten.. you're a superhero every.day.

There's so much more I want to say about it all... which is why this mamalogues series exists - and why I love hearing from you mamas too!

Share your voice. your stories. your heart... here today.

mama Mel ;o)


  1. wheeee! I'm here this week! Last week kind of knocked me out. But I'm back! Whining about my toddler who is also driving me a bit insane. I am going to blame this one on the full moon, because what else can explain the ridiculous display of righteous indignation at the suggestion that we get ready to go to gym. A thing that she LOVES and WANTS to go to??! Hmmmm???

    Anyway, toddlers do change you. I'm not really on team jesus (sorry) but I'll take a good idea wherever I find one. Once that keeps pulling at me lately is the Christina notion of service. And serving with a loving heart. Your post brought that back to mind. I have lots to think about with regard to service; like how much of myself do I give over to my kid? Where does service end and spoiling begin? Is service of one's children really something I should aspire to? Anyway, lots for this tired brain to think about! Thanks for the lovely post. Are you continuing with MM next week?

  2. motherhood is the hardest job i have ever done. and i used to work in high end retail and have to work with all sorts of people sooooo... that says a lot!!

  3. We're just in the beginning of toddler-dom but noone really told me that having a toddler will literally make your heart jump into your throat a thousand times a day. I knew they were ambitious and more adventurous but I'm constantly leading my 15 month old away from danger. He's always trying to climb through really high things (the window of the play house at the library for example) and just being a daredevil. It's crazy how much I want him to be independent (and he is) but I want to pull him back and say "no, that's a bit too much for you. It's hard to find a balance.

  4. Not sure if I can add much to that accept that it gets worse!--kidding (sort of!)--my boys are now 5 and 8 and it gets easier and more difficult. But i so get the bi-polar thing. I could be enraged (silently) with my life but suddenly one of my boys says "i love you Mom" or just runs and hugs me and I feel like the most important person in the world. And I realize to him I am and that melts me into a puddle :)

    Now I need some more coffee!! ;)

  5. Cristina (icoulddothatdesign)11 February 2013 at 10:55

    I agree with absolutely everything here Mel- SO SO good to hear from other moms and to know that it's all normal and that we're not the only ones feeling like this/going through all the struggles.
    Thank you!

  6. That's wonderful to hear Cristi - I was really hoping this would become a place of mutual encouragement that we're not the only 'crazies' doing this motherhood thing! ;o) Love having you here!! xx

  7. Aww... yes, I can only 'preach' about this kid-raising as far as I've progressed so far.. so just wait a few years till I get 'experience' on them being older!! eeeep! Love having you here (you could always link up too if you'd like to write something - or Dan) :o) xx

  8. Oh yesss... it is a hard balance isn't it? Sounds like you have quite the energetic daredevil on your hands! I struggle with that balance of letting them 'play wild = get mildly injured' or stay safe = keep them in a bubble' until they're.... 20yrs old. ;o) Good luck! lol

  9. ..bet you had a lot of adult drama queens to deal with in that retail spot... good training eh? ;o)

  10. Ooooh yes, it's always a hoot to have you back! Thanks for sharing your heart here.. and I'm impressed you are open to engage different approaches/viewpoints. The 'Christian notion of service' is definitely an incredible paradox - "if you want to be great, in God's kingdom.. be a servant of all". That being said... I don't think it's aspiring to be a 'servant' TO our kids and become a butler/genie/santa that seeks to placate them constantly = spoiling! I refer to the notion of service that means getting up and sacrificing our desires (like more SLEEP! lol) to care for the needs (physical/emotional/spiritual) of those children in our home... and seeking to do it with love, joy even! ;o) There's lots more I could say on this... (Jesus is the best part of me)... but I don't use this space as a 'soap-box', tho I'm glad to share about my faith... but I welcome the exchange from mamas from ALL approaches/outlooks!
    Yes.. I clarified my post - thanks for asking - MM will continue!! ;o) xx

  11. How do I link up? I'm new to this ;)

  12. Welll ...you would write a post on your blog about mamahoood (whatever may be on your heart that moment.. or just a photo to capture it even!)... and then hop over here and click on that phrase above ^^^ that would say "Click here to enter" which will take you to a Linky website that gives you simple prompts about entering your blog post address (and a thumbnail picture) and that's it! Well.. you can also grab this mamalogue button ----------> at the right hand to post at the end of your post! ;o)
    I'm sure Dan could help with the coding fun.. or just email me..! ;o) lol

  13. Hi Mel! Thanks heaps for the Linky-link ;)
    Just found your blog via Erica's blog. Looking forward to reading more of you.
    Toddlers do act like bi-polars very often but when they are cute, aren't they just the cutest? When I have a rough day with the boys, I make a point to go watch them sleep and cuddle them while they are sleeping to kinda 'reconnect' and remind myself how cute they are and how good they smell.
    Hang in there! (But do take sometime for yourself as well hey? It's important!)
    Thanks again!

  14. Allo! Ok.. I'm Canadian.. but my french is sketchy at best - lovely to have you here! Glad you joined in too! You're practically a neighbour ms.Montreal! ;o)

  15. My kids are almost not toddlers anymore! I can't believe it! Once in a while, I overhear one of them saying something like, "may I have that please?" and the other responds with a kind, "sure" and I'm all, "what?!"
    The past few years in many ways has felt like a whirlwind of craziness! I completely agree with your Jekyll and Hyde analysis. And now, the kids are actually somewhat reasonable; like, real little people instead of ticking time bombs! And some days I forget that they have changed and I find myself waiting for the crazy to happen and notice that hours have gone by and they have been playing nicely with each other the whole time. With a sigh of relief, I think, whoa, I made it through! And I must have done something right. Yes!

  16. Ohhh that sounds delightful... and yes, I'm eager for that stage (all the while seeking to keep delighting in this current one of : "sharing means caring, kids!!") lol. xx


Thanks for dropping by our nest, I love to hear from you!