[M.M.3] What no one tells you [infancy]...

Welcome back to Monday Mamalogues,
where we all get together and share the beauty and breakdowns of motherhood!
Our Newborn Hudson - Feb.2012

For my part, I'm sharing the third aspect of my 'what no one tells you' about motherhood series... and today's topic is:

---------------------------------------- Infancy --------------------------------------
(At the risk of turning this into an essay I may need to stick to bullet points).
So, here we go...what no one tells you about bringing that precious baby home...

* A newborn tends to look like a shrivelled up old man soaked in beet juice.
Don't worry.. you'll grow to love them!

* Granted.. if you aren't feeling the love soon enough, check yourself in with midwife/doctor support because post-partum depression is real hormonal craziness... and not a sign of failure/weakness as a new mama.  So I've heard.

* Breast-feeding is a beautiful thing (you lose the extra-pounds, baby wins healthy FREE steamers).. but getting to that point often feels more like learning to swim with piranhas in the buff.

* Breast-feeding also becomes a game of Russian Roulette... as in: 'what the heck did I eat that is making this baby so gassy/constipated/upset!??'.  You'll probably try going off certain foods (dairy, caffeine, certain veggies... air itself!).. only to discover that no clear answers come easily.  
Be patient with yourself.  
Despite being convinced I was carrying 'poison milk' for the first few months... this guy managed to chunk up real healthy here:

Hudson at 3.5 months
*  If baby ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.... and every (well-meaning) person in the world will offer you loads of advice as to how to 'fix' a crying baby.
You'll soon discover how contradictory/confusing all the input becomes.  You'll stumble along sloppily... making mistakes as you go... but eventually, you'll find the answers that work best for you and your baby.  (You may recall our adapted approach here).

* Your life, your sanity, your notions of success... will all hinge on a four letter word each day: P-O-O-P.
Nobody likes a bunged up baby... and nothing elates a parent's heart more than hearing that explosion of relief (however, soon those joys may dissipate at the triage of 'damage control').

*  Say goodbye to regular sleep cycles, fashionable clothes that you don't want stained in milk/snot/tears/vomit... and friends who don't get you being a mama now.

Now, before I scare any maternal desires out of you completely... know that the beauty of having this baby will outweigh the breakdowns.

* No one tells you how your heart will melt at the sight of your sleeping child (they may try, but they can't describe that kind of heaven in words).

* With one look, your baby will completely blow your mind... with their first smile.
Just wait till they start to giggle/coo/laugh at you.

* You'll find it hard to blink sometimes... because you're transfixed, staring endlessly at every little feature of this masterpiece.

* You'll develop a new capacity to feel (seen as crazy-emotionalism often..) that makes you softer in a lot of ways - I bawl over Disney, now.  And wilder in other ways - mess with my baby and I'll go she-bear on you!

* Meanwhile, your husband/partner will hopefully be warmly supporting you through this wild roller-coaster of new hormones (previously PMS trained?).  Trust that even if you feel more like a mama than a wife most days.. nothing is sexier than your man holding your love-baby.
(Granted, there's no better birth-control than a crying baby!).

Ok, Ok... I'll stop.

Just know that this is the.most.important job you will ever have.
'Mama' is a title that carries much responsibility and rejoicing.
Let's wear it well.

Now, I gotta leave room for other wonderful, wise and witty mamas out there to share their hearts on motherhood too, check them out LINKED below here!

thanks for being part of this mama's circle,
Mel ;o)


  1. o i loved all your points. my little girl just turned five months so a lot of them still ring true for me.

    thanks girl

  2. Cristina (icoulddothatdesign)4 February 2013 at 08:54

    This is great Mel- loved it. Breastfeeding is "like learning to swim with piranhas in the buff." So perfect. Sigh. Mothering is certainly a mix of instinct, total ignorance, and experimentation. Thanks for your post.

  3. all so very true. and yes, poop.... i feel like sometimes it's still all about poop. did she poop? how was her poop? poop!!!!!

  4. Yep, that totally sums it up! A whole lotta crazy love and a whole lotta just darn crazy all at once! Luckily, the big, big love will always be in your heart and never be forgotten, while the poo-cano eruptions and ass-plosions eventually fade from memory (for the most part). You're right, I love Johnny so much more now. Seeing my man with our children makes me completely melt over him in a way that I never have before. ♥

  5. Oh, Mel, I smiled my way through this mamalogue. You said everything so accurately, with sensitivity and humour. Even though my girls are now 25 and 14, it would take severe dementia (or my death) to erase the memories I have of becoming their mama. And because they were born 10.5 years apart, it really was like being a first-time mom twice in my life. We, your faithful readers, love what you write. Thank you for keeping at it. xo

  6. Pretty much all of this.

    Noone told me that I would fail at breastfeeding. After 2 months I just couldn't deal with seeing my baby hungry and literally being sick to my stomach at the thought of breastfeeding from pain and emotions. I went to exclusively pumping and that was that.

  7. Although there are no babies in my life, I can only assume that all of this is totally true. I think it's really awesome that you're willing to say it all out loud. Too many mom's hold their frustrations and breaking points inside just to keep up appearances, and if you ask me, that can't be healthy.

    Keep up the good work, mama!

    (P.S. There's a treat on my blog for you today. Enjoy!!)

  8. Aw, thanks pal - you know where to come for the 'real deal' on mothering (you know.. IF/when you ever cross that bridge.. hehheh). You're lucky I like you for that 'treat'.. argghh! ;o)

  9. Oh hun... that must have been a really tough time for you guys... its so frustrating to feel so helpless in those moments when we want to provide the best care for our wee ones.. and for whatever reasons can't. I'm impressed you pumped for that - I hated ever having to pump.. way to go mama! xx

  10. wait.. '14'... did I miss something/someone.. how did I not know you had another mini-you other than Katie?? Wow! Thanks for being here lovely, funny mama! xx

  11. ha! LOVE this - why you stiiilllll 'need' to join the circle here.. lol. No pressure! Still laughing at your 'eruption' terms....! xx

  12. it's totally true!! Why this post still has one more 'edition'... toddlers=more poop! lol xx

  13. Glad you 'get' me... and I, you. mama! Happy to have you here!! xx

  14. Hey early bird - way to start off the fun here - lovely to have you!! ;o)

  15. Beautiful! I have three and you have nailed it! ;)

  16. Hi Anna! Haha.. thanks.. it's an amazing 'motherhood' to be a part of, where we all just 'get' each other now, eh? Hope your crew is keeping well! xx


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