confessions: [of a mama]. part 10.

Hi friends!
Well we're now officially starting our third week with the new guy: lately I'm calling him Hudson Blue (because of his eyes).. or Sir.Poops.A Lot...  

We're still in a fog around the nest here, and whether or not this is a current moment of clarity, I thought I'd post some recent confessions/thoughts:

First, an update: I haven't had gall bladder surgery as of yet...but am now booked to see my family Doctor tomorrow and figure out the next step.

I confess that most days right now feel like 'motherhood in the trenches'.*

I want to savour these precious moments.. but it feels more like I am enduring them.*

I breathe a gasp of relief when I see my Ben arrive home from work each day.*

Though I feel like Eeyore for Ben after a day spent with the milk-piglet and all his pooh.*

*[I know these feelings aren't permanent.. but chalk it up to sleeplessness. (If this funny blog wasn't so true... it would be more hilarious).]

Whenever I go to burp Hudson... I end up burping instead (weird, yes.).
Most mamas suffer from cabin-fever occasionally... and I'm no exception (though the home-body in me likes our cozy cave).

I kick myself now for never getting my drivers license (honestly... 31years old and never had it!).

I have the cutest kids (but I'm biased).

Azriel and I are still a hot mess most mornings, but I do sympathise for how 'neglected' she feels currently when this lil' pac-man is always feeding or pooping.. or needing attention. 

I still want to capture every moment in my heart though.

The sweet. The stressful. The beauty. The mess.

These tiny tots are my tutors. my sages. they keep teaching me every day.
I'm a slow learner... but I'm trying to keep up.
Learning to be self-less.

Funny how it's only now we start to truly appreciate our own parents - and what we put them through! 

Mindful mental mama,
Mel ;o)


  1. Sweet, graceful Mel
    You are doing a wonderful job!  Motherhood can be exhausting...  I remember a girlfriend of mine telling me (when our kids were babies) "He's sucking the life blood out of me!", referring to her sweet 'Bickie' (who is now 18 years old and a hippy heart throb). 
    And she meant it.  I realize now that I was so lucky to have Martin with me all the time.  The few times that I was all alone I got bored very quickly.  I never wanted to play another game.  I wanted to be left alone to read and make art and think and contemplate.  The 'idea' of mothering, the blog 'perfect' concept of mothering was what went through my head and sometimes made me sad (although there were no blogs, then).  ACTUAL mothering was tough.  All in all, I remember giggling over Ramona the Pest and Ferdinand the Bull with my kids.  Cuddling up in a snow storm reading The Long Winter and having my son say "This is the life, fire blazing, reading Little House in the Prairie..."  And it was.  Time to hang out and play with what you find fun.  We spent many hours laughing ourselves silly watching Austin Powers together as a family.  I wasn't the greatest at playing games and doing puzzles.  But I loved thrifting with my kids and checking out all their cool finds.  We all loved action figures and dolls and cars and we LOVED Pee Wee Herman and laughed ourselves silly at his antics.  
    I remember every now and then having such blissful moments with both my babes.  When they had a bath with me and cuddled in the water.  Pure sensual moments of love and sunshine.  They happen in between all the drudgery.  I do think that the more time you have with them, the more chance you have for those moments.  It's so lovely that you are there, not perfect, tired and a little bored sometimes.  But there.  You have created an oasis of love and comfort and happiness that is so strong it flows through the computer and right here into my lap!  Bravo to you!
    love michele
    PS We have a wee gift for the wee one and would love to drop it off sometime.  Any suggestions?

  2.  oh gosh Michele.. you're going to go and make this mama cry.  Thank you.  I appreciate you taking the time to always remind me of perspective... since you've 'been here done this'.  thank you.  I am touched you have a wee gift too.. goodness the world is full of sweetness!  Umm... if it's something that isn't 'time sensitive' I'd love you to hold it till you can come for a tea with Caren et all?!  Once I get my head together (and possible gall bladder stuff dealt with)... can I give you the green light then?

  3. corey moortgat9 March 2012 at 14:18

    Oh, these shots of you and baby are so beautiful!  I never really got shots like those with any of my kids, and I regret it! 

    You asked about going to a big-girl bed.  Well, I can tell you about our experiences. With all mine, we put the toddler bed in the room with the crib for a few days and had them try it out before taking away the crib, just so it wasn't brand new.  With my oldest, it was the most difficult.  He constantly would wander out during "nap"-time.  For a couple weeks, I remember having to literally hold the door closed from the outside so that he'd stay in.  It was sad, but he eventually learned to stay in on his own.  My middle son, I really don't even remember- isn't that terrible!?  It must have gone easily enough!  And with Avery now, she's doing beautifully.  I think with the third child, she just assumes you do what Mom says (since her brothers do), and when Mom says "Lay down and take a nap", that's what she does!  It's almost scary how easily it's gone, but I'm not going to argue!

    Unfortunately, you'll be dealing with a first child, so she doesn't have another example to follow.  But who knows?  Maybe since she's a girl, she'll go as easily as Avery!  Good luck with it!!

  4.  aw, thanks for taking the time to reply on that.  So far anytime we've tried to put her there for her nap time... she comes running/crying to the door once we leave...  not sure how to convince her to stay put. Thats so cute with Avery tho, love it. ;o)


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