I wanted to post today about how things are going here at the nest... now that being 'mama of two' is in it's second week. I want to invite you over for a 'virtual tea party'... where we can sip in the sunlight and chat for a moment, yes? Now, this isn't meant to be a whine-session on my part, but it would help if you knew how to play the violin!
So, I would tell you that this has been quite the roller coaster of emotions lately - no, I never did get the 'weepy' days or postpartum blues - but I did see how our daughter is starting to be affected by this addition of a new brother. Sure she still lavishes him with a smothering of affection, but she's way more volatile with me. My sweet gal now starts bawling.whining.freaking whenever I ask her to 'do' anything she doesn't want to (i.e...pick up your toys. eat your food..etc). We are trying to ride this new wave out, and trust that it's just her time to adjust too.
I would tell you that some moments feel like I am clutching at sanity for dear life... and it's a delicate thread that's unravelling. How I fear for the rage that can rise up when sleep-deprivation/whining kids/messy rooms collide in my heart... and I fight to hold the fire in my chest so as not to unleash and burn those I love.
This mama is forever in need of much grace. I catch myself telling my daughter to 'be patient' when in reality, I too, am found lacking.
But I am also learning how resilient one can be... to bounce back from another sleepless night and ride the euphoric energy of seeing your precious children afresh each day.
I would beam with pride at how cute our little Hudson is...
as he smirks up at you with a tiny dimple in his cheek (sure, it's because he's farting).
I'd tell you how he's been such a pac-man with nursing, that he has put on a full pound in one week, and has already returned this mama to her pre-pregnancy weight.
Pretty sweet when you're husband no longer sees you as 'bloated with fertility'... but calls you 'positively svelte'!
Lastly, since many of you are aware from my personal Facebook status... I'd fill you in on what happened here last night:
I woke up at 11pm feeling the sharp pain (like a belt of knives) around my diaphragm. Much like I had felt once while pregnant, and briefly last week. This time it didn't quit... finding it hard to want to breathe deeply... or much else, Ben said we should go to the Emergency Room. ugh... We packed up Hudson (who was sleeping beautifully for once).. and left Azriel asleep in the care of our house-mates/in-law siblings.
After waiting for 5 eternal hours - by which time my pain was gone - the Doctor poked around and discovered the source of the problem... my gall bladder.
A fairly common post-pregnancy issue it turns out.. and now I'm booked for Monday to get it looked at and likely removed with surgery.
Are you still playing the violins?
The biggest hissy fit moment for me is that one should be diligent to eat healthy fruits/veggies/fibre with this condition... and not aggravate it with all the stuff I would actually want: fats.chocolate.caffeine.starches!
These are the times I remind myself of one of my favourite verses:
"...and it came to pass...."
Brighter days are ahead I'm sure!
Thanks for sharing this mama's tea-time and rant,
I would love to hear how you're doing too?
Hope your weekend is beauty.