currently...

 ...this cat is staring at me as I type.

Tinderpuff always jumps up next to me when I sit with the lap top... she places an expectant paw on my arm and gives me her best 'puppy eyes' for affection.

...baby Hudson is softly snoring from across the room in a cocoon of blankets.

...there's a beautiful moment of quietness in this nest (Azriel is at the zoo with her Grandparents this morning).

...I brew some Earl Grey Vanilla tea in my tall turquoise mug, and breathe.

...listening to this mellow playlist currently.

I don't know why it's always on Friday that I feel so reflective... maybe it's the perspective of looking back on another completed week.

I've been processing a lot lately - even while being in a 'newborn fog'.

When you're forced to be still those quiet voices are given more clarity.

They speak with a fragile force that can't be ignored - but so often is drowned out in the distracting din of the daily.

"Who are you?"

"How's your heart space?"

"Are you growing in grace?"

they ask.

"What's holding you back?"

"What do you fear?"

"Who are you blaming?"

they whisper.

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This has been a strange time for me.  Recovering from birth, then surgery.  Forced to sit which makes me go squirrelly.

I've felt torn between just trying to endure this time - wishing it gone already.

But also seeking to be present, to be taught in this moment.

But also not wanting to be short-sighted and forget the bigger picture.

The trap of "I'll be happy when...." will always disappoint.

I need to find and hold the joys that are here for me (and for you) right now.

These seconds are making up the moments,

the moments create the days,

these days are our fleeting life.

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I have to keep flexing the muscle of gratitude in my heart,

because when it's weak it just wants to fester in self-pity.

So, in this moment, I declare that I AM THANKFUL.

Too many blessings to count.

Forced to sit and blessed to consider them.

Grateful mama,

Mel ;o)