quilted love.

Isn't love such a multi-faceted thing?
Such a mixture of light and dark, joy and pain in our squishy little hearts. 

I do love this wee guy.
But every evening since birth he's been a cranky.crying.hot mess... these are the darker moments... the times that push your sleep-deprived heart to mutter under your breath: "oh just shuuuuuddup already!" 
The constant holding.feeding.changing cycle that makes you just want to run shrieking out of the house "just give me one moment of peace!"

And then, every dawn the brightness returns.
(His mercies are new every morning).
He softly snores beside me, tucked into the warmth of my side... the warmth of my heart that has filled afresh with a new day. 

I stare in wonder, transfixed by this doubling of our love.
A daughter, and now a son.

So much love... and so much exhaustion.
Arms that ache from holding them... but then longing to embrace them just once more.
Longing for a moment of silence some days... but then missing them once they're asleep. 

We are learning this whole 'parenting thing' day by day...
...the darker moments 
and the bright 
all woven together like a quilted patchwork of love.
I hope they just remember the warmth of being wrapped in it... 
and can look past some of those tattered fragments that hung on by a thread.

I'm an imperfect mama.
 Longing to reflect the God of perfect Love to
these young souls.

Seeking to stitch more of His light, and less of my dark, into this quilted love.

A work-in-progress,
Mel :o)


  1. I truly love that you post the good and the bad Mel...you write so beautifully that even the bad sound good haha but I'm glad you share that. He is so lovely and so is your whole little family...lovely.

  2.  well thank you Carly... just trying to keep it real over here ;o)  He truly is lovely - and its hard to stay mad at him even when he's a big.fat.cranky.pants! hehe.  Thanks for always brightening my day with your sweet comments! xo

  3. Mel, you put beautifully into words exactly how I feel too! The joy and the difficulty all woven together...but the joy always wins and lasts the longest. Thanks for sharing this! And know there is another mama out there who is awake in the wee hours with you!

  4. Hi Jenn! Yes, we have parallel families now don't we?! Two is a wonder... and a whirlwind eh? Thanks for being in it with me here... miss you guys. xo

  5. This is a beautiful post... you are doing such a wonderful job... being a mama isn't easy (especially during those early days that you are in right now).  We have 4 monkeys... it does get easier in ways & harder in ways as they grow... but it just makes that quilt more interesting & full.  Thanks for sharing.

  6.  aw, thank YOU Danielle - I'll keep looking to you for proof we can survive these early years! hehe... take care sweet mama. ;o)

  7. beautifully said, friend.



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