Isn't love such a multi-faceted thing?
Such a mixture of light and dark, joy and pain in our squishy little hearts.
I do love this wee guy.
But every evening since birth he's been a cranky.crying.hot mess... these are the darker moments... the times that push your sleep-deprived heart to mutter under your breath: "oh just shuuuuuddup already!"
The constant holding.feeding.changing cycle that makes you just want to run shrieking out of the house "just give me one moment of peace!"
And then, every dawn the brightness returns.
(His mercies are new every morning).
He softly snores beside me, tucked into the warmth of my side... the warmth of my heart that has filled afresh with a new day.
I stare in wonder, transfixed by this doubling of our love.
A daughter, and now a son.
So much love... and so much exhaustion.
Arms that ache from holding them... but then longing to embrace them just once more.
Longing for a moment of silence some days... but then missing them once they're asleep.
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We are learning this whole 'parenting thing' day by day...
...the darker moments
and the bright
all woven together like a quilted patchwork of love.
I hope they just remember the warmth of being wrapped in it...
and can look past some of those tattered fragments that hung on by a thread.
I'm an imperfect mama.
Longing to reflect the God of perfect Love to
these young souls.
Seeking to stitch more of His light, and less of my dark, into this quilted love.
A work-in-progress,
Mel :o)
